Men vs. Women

Here’s a list of the lovely differences between most men and women.  I think these little quirks provide the comedic relief between the two!

  • Checking out the opposite sex – Women will look at the eyes, smile, butt, shoulders, hands, chest, arms, etc.  Men, however, check out the boobs and butt…and that’s it!
  • Directions – Women will stop and ask for directions when lost.  They will gladly take a map the person draws for them too!  Men never admit they are lost and therefore, NEVER stop to ask.  When they get to their destination, sometimes up to 4 hours later, they claim to have found a new route!
  • Pain tolerance – Men will cry and sulk over their favorite football team.  This depression could last a week or more.  Women can give birth on a Tuesday and by Thursday she is doing laundry + all other household responsibilities!  LOL
  • Laundry – Women wash clothes every couple of days.  Men will wear every stitch of clothing they own and then resort to sniffing shirts and turning them inside out to wear again!
  • Kids – Women know all about their children.  They juggle their doctor visits, sports, school work, favorite foods and boo-boos.  Men use the kids as excuses to play on the playground, play games, ride carnival rides, play with Lego’s, play at the toy stores and bring frogs and other gross animals into the house!
  • Dressing nice – Women will dress nice to go shopping, take out the trash, check the mail, watch a movie, read a book or clean the house.  Men dress nice to attend a funeral.
  • Toys – Women played with toys until they reached 12 years of age.  Then they kinda lose interest.  Men….their fascination with toys never ends.  The toys just get bigger and more expensive…cars, game consoles, electronics, etc.
  • “Ball” shots – Women see this and say, “Wow, that must hurt.”…Men double over in pain at the sight of this and then feel the need to puke.
  • Telephone – Women seem to have this device stuck permanently to their ears.  They can visit their mother for a week, return home, immediately call her and be on the phone for three hours.  Men use a phone for less than a minute and only for informational purposes.
  • Jewelry – Women wear lots of it and look good.  Men wear one ring and that’s it.  Wearing anymore makes you question his sanity and/or sexuality.
  • Menopause – Women get emotional, deal with biological changes, psychological dysfunction, hot flashes and homicidal tendencies.  Men get younger women and small cars.
  • Shoes – Men own a pair of sneakers, boots and those dress shoes they wear when someone dies.  Women own at least 36 pair, not including the insane amount of flip-flops in every color.
  • Mirrors – Women depend on a mirror anywhere from 20-50 times a day and each time she goes to pee.  Men can go without looking into one unless he is checking himself out and flexing his muscles.
  • Garages – Women park cars here.  Men store all their crap here, have an endless supply of tools, cook-out, play darts, watch t.v., etc.
  • Movies – Women go for the sappy, lovey dovey movies.  Men go for blood, guts and boobs.
  • Sex – Women want 30-45 minutes of foreplay.  Men want 30-45 seconds of foreplay.
  • Maturity – An 18 year old woman can be a fully functioning adult.  An 18-year-old man still gives wedgies, uses “your mama” jokes and wrestles with the boys.
  • Going out – A man will be ready to go out in 5 minutes.  A woman will be ready in 2-3 hours and that’s only if she can get her hair to cooperate.
  • Groceries – A woman makes a list and buys these specific items.  A man will wait until there is one item left in the fridge, usually looks like a bad science experiment and then goes shopping.  He usually only buys snacks or other non-essential items.
  • Bathrooms – A man has a toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shaving cream, soap and a towel.  A woman has 486 items…a  man can only identify two of these items!
  • Handwriting – A man uses no decoration and it usually resembles chicken scratch.  A woman uses loopy letters, dots their “i’s” with hearts, makes smiley faces, and will even spray perfume on the paper.

So, there you have it…differences that separate men and woman…yet, somehow bring them together to balance them out!

Stuff I don’t understand…

Ok, so that title should read, “Shit that don’t make no sense to me”!  My husband laughs at my commentary while watching movies.  Yes, I am one of those that can’t seem to shut up during a movie!  There are a few movies that set off questions in my head…so, I figured I’d share!  haha

Titanic– At the end of the movie, Jack and the chick are in the freezing water.  He is doing the “man thing” and trying his best to get her out of the water so she doesn’t freeze to death.  Now, I cannot remember what he puts her on…a door, a dresser, a headboard….whatever.  What I do remember is that it was big enough to hold both of them!  He is a pretty small guy and she’s not huge…they both could’ve gotten on that thing!  They could have made that work and there was tons of other shit floating in that water he could have gotten on too ya’ll!

Horror movies in general – Why do the chicks always go runnin’ up the stairs when they could’ve just ran out the front door?  Come on now!  Upstairs…there are only so many places to hide and only one way down!  Sure, you can jump out of a window like an idiot but personally, I’d rather keep my legs in tact.  And shouting, “Who’s there?” is retarded.  Do ya think the bad guy is gonna just answer back like the Marco Polo game?  It never fails when the chick is running around outside either like a delirious moron.  She always trips and falls!  You have been running on them legs you got for several years…why do they not work now?  Normal people look where they are going!  Looking back only results in being hacked up in pieces, dummy!

Paranormal Activity – This movie, along with several others, was great!  I actually like all paranormal movies.  But in this particular movie, they had their fun shooting video of all the crazy shit.  Recording the movements at night, the footprints in the powder, the sounds, etc were all awesome.  But think about it…would you go through all this terror, be dumped by the scared psychic, not get help from the demonologist guy, and then just call it quits with getting help?  Research on the internet would only take ya so far.  Staying in the house only works for so long, obviously.  Hell, why not make a few more calls?  There are tons of people who would be more than glad to show up just to see for themselves.  Let them skeptics get a good dose!  haha  Or how bout run like hell!!!  Go learn some ghost banishing voodoo stuff!  But stayin’ in that house just filming your own death is retarded!

Michael Myers – This guy scares the shit outta me!  He is ruthless!  He never seems to get in a hurry, yet always catches the idiot running around screaming.  This is mainly due to those that trip and fall a lot!  He totes a knife and uses it to the extreme!  But it’s a knife people!  I know shooting him never seems to work…but how bout in the ol’ noggin’!!!  Use one of those rocket shooters or a tank.  Or maybe you could run him over with one of those steam roller thingys.  Or….what could he really do with no arms?…..hmmmmm

Jason Voorhees – I think that’s how you spell it…ha  Anyway, he’s very similar to Myers.  You gotta start using other methods to take this guy out!  Maybe you could just not go to that damn camp no more!  Set that whole place on fire!  Refrain from premarital sex…LOL  Hey, we all know he goes after those!

Strangers – I really, really liked this movie!  My husband would’ve taken care of that situation with a quickness!  But since I’m not Rambo, I don’t quite know how he would’ve done it.  I can only tell you what I would have done…haha  Yea, this is probably gonna go badly, but that’s why I would’ve just let my Rambo handle it!  For starters, if my husband would’ve left to head into town….ALL DOORS AND WINDOWS WOULD HAVE BEEN LOCKED!  At the first sign of trouble I would have found whatever weapon was available and hid in a locked room with no doors or windows…if available.  Even in a room with one window, I’m pretty confident I would’ve handled the situation until he got back.  I’m pretty sure I would have found the gun and figured a way to get to the highest point…roof would be best.  Hell, from there the problem could be handled quick!  Anyway, my point is…these idiots were not too smart.  They just seemed to not think at all!

Basic – This movie….this movie caused massive brain leakage for me.  I think I’ve watched this movie 5-6 times and I still don’t know who the hell Dunbar is!  Everyone was someone else and I just stayed lost the entire time.  I still think Dunbar was ol’ donut boy but I’m told I’m way wrong.  I don’t even know who the bad guy is in this movie.  I thought it was Jackson and then thought it was Travolta and then the bad man in the office….now, not a damn clue.  Just writing this makes me want to watch it again to see if I have a revelation…haha

 

 

Cyber-bullying needs to be stopped!

I recently did a post, https://armyliving13.wordpress.com/2012/03/25/drama-among-military-wives/, that deals with a particular Facebook page called Overly Sensitive Military Wives.  This page (along with its owner, admins and members) is a perfect example of cyber-bullying at its worst.  These people choose to take photos of women and children and bash them online for all to see.  They, of course, claim that most of these pictures are pulled off internet…that is a COMPLETE LIE!  These photos they post are even labeled with the particular military base they were taken at.  They each travel on post and visit the PX and Commissary to take pictures of people just to post and take turns making derogatory comments.  I am so sick of the idiots associated with this page saying I have missed the whole point of this page and try to say that they are only trying to point out bad parenting and the wearing of ACU’s.  Four words for ya….SHUT THE HELL UP!  Bad parenting is one thing but posting pictures of a woman and choosing to make remarks about her weight has nothing to do with being a good or bad parent.  Posting pictures of children, yes they do this even though they try to lie about it, and choosing to call them names is so pathetic.  This page has been reported numerous time and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING has been done about it!  What is it gonna take for the authorities and admins of Facebook to realize the problem here???

Cyber bullying is a major issue.  There have been documented cases in recent years that address the seriousness of this problem.  Too many people have been targeted and resorted to suicide.  And to the idiots that participate in bullying on the OSMW page…don’t use the line “Stay off the damn page.” to anyone!  I’m sure there are lots of people who have received phone calls letting them know that their picture has been posted, of course without their permission, on this page and horrible remarks being made.  How bout you take down the damn page and stop being assholes?

How about a few examples of what happens when people like this are allowed to continue bullying anyone they choose???

A current case involving a girl making a malicious site, much like our little OSMW bashers, and targeting certain girls that she doesn’t like is facing a heavy fine and a possible one year jail sentence.

Megan Meirer was repeatedly bullied online by Lori Drew.  Now, Lori Drew is an “adult”…if you want to call her that… who pretended to be a boy around Megan’s age.  She then decided to make Megan’s life miserable by bashing her online and choosing to tell her that the world would be better off without her.  Megan, 13 years old, hung herself on October 17, 2006 as a result of the cyber bullying.

Tyler Clementi went through a terrible ordeal as well.  His roommate was posting his homosexual experiences on the Internet.  Clementi took action and complained to get this taken off-line and the situation handled…he was ignored.  Not long after, he jumped to his death.

Ryan Halligan spent the summer of 2003 being bullied online.  Hoping the new school year would hold great things, he began that school year with his head held high.  The vicious bullying continued until being teased and called names got so bad Ryan took his own life one afternoon.

It is such a shame that the authorities and social networking sites are very aware of these problems and the outcomes they can cause, yet choose to do nothing about them.  No one should have to live their life in the shadows worrying about being harassed on the computer.  People shouldn’t have to worry about having their picture taken or being picked on at a school, a store, a post office, in traffic, etc.

Everyone needs to rally together to stop this.  Sometimes it takes a huge group or several small groups all over to make a huge enough impact for the right amount of light to be projected on a particular problem.

Counting down his return…

Ahhh…nearing the end of another deployment!  I am sooo ready for this deployment to be over!  I am in that “hurry up and wait” stage…

I think a lot of the wives go through the “nesting” phase.  That’s where I am…once again!  I have spent the last few weeks getting all the things he likes.  I’ve made sure to get all his favorite foods and drinks.  I’ve gotten new shirts and jeans for him too.  Carpets have been cleaned and the house has been put back in that “OCD order”!  Everything has its place!  Haha  I have all his presents from Christmas laid out…yes, he will still have a Christmas!  I sent gifts to him and made sure he has tons to open at home too.  Our daughter is getting so excited!  She can’t wait to rip into presents with Daddy!  Our daughter has already found her “welcome home Daddy” dress and keeps it hanging on her bedroom door.

I can’t wait to have him home and have our lil’ family back together.  It’s the little things I miss the most…Saturday nights, breakfast together, boots in the floor, washing ACU’s (yes, I have actually missed seeing them in the laundry!), the sound of the front door opening in the evening knowing it’s him home from work, doing the “guy” stuff like camping and fishing, watching movies together…WAKING UP NEXT TO HIM!

A Few Facts About Men…

Men are complex creatures!  LOL  Naw, men are more comical than we give them credit for though.  Their way of thinking is actually pretty simple and to the point.  And they are big kids!  A video game and a trip to Toys-R-Us will prove this!  Here’s a few little tid bits about men…

Men like to grill out.  Cooking on the grill is considered manly and also dangerous.  Playing with fire is a necessity for them.

Buying your husband a camera or video recorder will trigger his creative side!  Be prepared!!!  Lock the doors when you go to the bathroom ladies!  That rock show in the shower or quick trip to the potty will come back to haunt you!  LOL

 

Men know all about sports.  They get damn serious and become instant coaches!  They prefer that you only speak during commercials…since they need to concentrate!  Haha  They will yell and coach from the couch too.  There are ways to bribe them ladies!  That new piece of lingerie you’ve been dying to try on…yep, try that thing on and walk right in front of the T.V. and keep going!  Sports game on t.v.???  What game?  LOL

 

Hearing the words, “We need to talk.”, can cause multiple bad reactions to men.  They can fall into a coma quickly, immediately develop amnesia or  run out of the house!  Hell, come to think of it, that phrase could cause skid marks!

Men are sensitive too, ladies.  If he builds a campfire and one log doesn’t burn…he will take this shit seriously!  His feelings will be hurt and his ego damaged!  And somehow their campfires end up getting bigger and bigger!  His sensitivity involves other things as well….fishing, sports, grilling, building/putting together anything, etc.

 

Men, no matter how old, will always get a kick out of pretending to be superheroes.  Don’t believe me???  Give him a red cape and see what happens!

 

Men cannot read minds!  Hell, they won’t even attempt to guess!  If they ask what’s wrong and you say nothing…they will just accept that answer and move on.  LOL  They may opt for the “confused” look to keep themselves out of trouble too!

Men consider crying to be blackmail!  LOL  As they say…a woman is never wrong but when she is, she cries and is somehow right again!

 

Hunger Games review

The Hunger Games was an awesome read!  My sister told me about them and kept insisting that I immediately get them on my Kindle.  My poor Kindle, needless to say, had to be majorly charged in the end!  These books were phenomenol!  Now, I have to admit, I am always a little skeptical when I hear that a movie is being made from a book.  They very rarely follow the book or capture the feelings and/or images I have for the characters.  So, with a hopeful attitude, I decided to go see it…

I will try not to give so many details away…so hang with me on this!  LOL

Jennifer Lawrence did really good playing Katniss Everdeen!  She did an amazing job portraying the character and really looked the way I had imagined.  Josh Hutcherson, as Peeta Mellarck, really captivated the personality that they book revealed.  I had him pictured differently, but can’t complain about the outcome.

Woody Harrelson and Lenny Kravitz played their roles perfectly as well.  Harrelson can pull off a drunk guy any day of the week!  Kravitz was able to show the soft, sympathetic role of Cinna without missing a beat.

 

Katniss volunteering as tribute was a touching moment.   I can only imagine, having a younger sibling myself, throwing myself to the wolves.  Knowing that this is it…leaving and joining 23 other tributes to fight to the death.  Only one is allowed to win, to come home to his/her family.

Rising up inside the tube to the arena had me on the edge of my seat!  The anticipation and all the possible images you are about to witness leaves you hanging by a thread.  I probably would have puked!  And I kinda made a fool of myself during the movie during the next few moments.  LOL  My feet were damn near running in place…kinda like pushing the imaginary brake while being the passenger in a car!  I would have stepped off that platform way too early and blown up!  Haha!  And running to grab a bag….shit!  Bag…what damn bag?  I would have just hauled ass for the trees!

The layout of the arena and how it is controlled was awesome.  All other cast members did a great job.  I’ve read comments online downing some of the cast members, but I really think the cast was chosen wisely.  The remainder of the “game” was very, very good!  The arena ending matched the book and the ending of the movie leaves you wanting more!   This film is a must-see!!!  The idea that something like this could ever take place gives me goose bumps!  Hope you enjoy it!

Army wife do’s and don’ts!

Time and time again you hear about military couples having problems.  Yes, I know that is a very broad term…problems!  But you see it over and over again.  Some of the problems I’m referring to consists of communication issues or simply not understanding the way things work.  Army wives, as do the other military spouses, go through a ton of stress!  Whether its dealing with deployments, husband’s chain of command, plans being smashed into pieces or any of the other numerous issues associated with being a military spouse…keep your chin up!  Here are a few tips to help get you through some of it!

The stress will definitely be a factor!  DO learn to deal with it and take each day as it comes.  DON’T whine and complain about it all the time though.  Letting as much as you can roll off your shoulders will pay off….I promise!

DO enjoy and make the most of your time together.  DON’T  take any of that time for granted!  Far too many times there will be things that come up or sudden events (earthquake in Haiti) that cause your husband to have to leave quickly.  And don’t use “lack of money” as an excuse not to do things to spend time together.  There are tons of things to do as a couple for little to no cost at all!  Think simple ladies!!!

DO have pride for your husband’s courage, accomplishments, service, etc.  DON’T  wear his rank!  Spouses hold no rank whatsoever.  Your husband’s rank is his and his alone.  He earned that rank with time served, courage, dedication, dependability and many other accomplishments.  Pretending that you wear that rank is not only wrong but tacky, in my opinion of course!  🙂

DO get used to being around and meeting new, different people.  Having an open mind and not judging others based on their looks, accent, age or religion will be very beneficial!  Accept the fact that everyone is different, yet a friend can come in many shapes, sizes, colors and backgrounds.  DON’T get caught up in the drama of any groups or cliques.  You will already have enough on your plate without having to deal with the issues that reflect typical highschool behavior.  Now, am I saying that all military spouses participate or reflect this highschool clique issue?  NOPE…JUST SAYING THAT IT IS BEST TO STAY AWAY FROM IT WHEN YOU SEE IT!

DO support and stand by your husband.  No matter what…be there for him and keep in mind he goes through a great deal of shit!  DON’T try to do his job for him.  You are not active duty and therefore, the job is his and not yours.  There is a difference in being supportive and being controlling.

DO look forward to time together.  DON’T make plans too far in advance!  Trust me, write it all in pencil!  Dates and times will change very often!

DO respect his chain of command.  Understand that orders are orders…you don’t have to agree with them or like them, but he has to follow orders regardless.  DON’T go to his chain of command for every little thing that goes on with your life.  An emergency situation is one thing… wanting time off for a beach trip or family reunion has zero impact on orders.

DO take advantage of the nice privileges and benefits offered to active duty and dependents.  Be grateful for them too!  DON’T act like you are special or entitled to anything just because your husband serves in the military.  Here again, his career and rank are his!  Assuming and expecting things in return for his service is wrong!

DO form your own opinions about the FRGs.  Being involved with the FRG of your husband’s unit could turn out to be a great experience for you.  You will hear several different points of view on this subject.  My best advice, make up your own mind!  DON’T expect a FRG to cater to your every need.  I know that sounds harsh, but please understand that FRGs work best when you all work together.  The ol’ “Give and Get” idea comes into play here.  All spouses working together will make a strong group.

DO give your husband some free time to unwind.  Before you freak out and do the eye roll thing, let me explain!  LOL  I know some wives work and some don’t.  Obviously, if you both work full schedules, you both need some “down-time” to unwind and relax.  If that is the case, talk it out with your hubby and work out a schedule of taking turns sleeping late or whatever.  If you stay home, give him a little free time so his stress level doesn’t exceed the limit.  Playing the Call of Duty and Halo games seem to be the most common form of down-time when they get home from work.  DON’T whine or complain when he does this.  Remember, he has been up since sometime around 0500 maybe and may not get home until 1730 or after.  He’s had a long day…give him a break.  LOL  I can just see the eye rolls ladies!

DO keep in mind that whatever post you are stationed at has several resources available for your husband and your family.  There are support centers that can offer tons of assistance with all kinds of issues ranging from financial planning to PTSD.  There are also several websites that will point you in the right direction as well.  The FRG should have all this information readily available for you too.  DON’T  assume you are alone or not accept help.  Before and after deployment packets are also available to help you cope and plan for the changes associated with them.

I hope this helps you adjust and/or maintain your stress level as well as keep your relationship happy and healthy!  Let me know if you have any questions!