People always leave…

Finding friends in the Army can be very difficult for spouses.  There is so much gossip, drama, and other crap among Army wives these days.  I have figured out, over the last several years, that many people you meet will become acquaintances and a select few will become actual friends.  Those friends will become so special and the bond will be unbreakable.  Between the deployments, struggles, and stress, you learn to lean on each other in hard times.  You each share the good times and precious memories.

But…you soon learn the bitter part of Army life and friends.  We all have to move away.

A very dear friend of mine is moving at the beginning of the year.  We both knew it was coming, but being prepared for it is another thing.  It happens to all of us, but it never gets easier I guess.  We keep in touch with the friends we’ve made and dread having to start over making new ones.  I know I dread it.

I have a few tips on keeping in touch and making the distance fun though.

1. Phone calls.  Keep in touch on a regular basis and continue to share each other’s struggles and good times.

2. Set aside a coffee date.  For example, Tuesday mornings at 0800 you pick up the phone, fill your coffee cup, and settle in for your weekly date/catch up phone call.

3. Face time/Video calls.  You get to see each other and the kids can also “visit” with each other.

4. Depending on distance, plan a get-together once a year or so.  Renting a cabin or something is a great weekend getaway to relax and catch up.

5. Penpal journal.  One journal shared between the two of you that you mail back and forth.

6. Crazy competitions.  Include your husbands and kids in little competitions throughout the year with Halloween contests and such.  It’s a good way to swap photos and the kids will have fun dressing up.  Each month could be a different theme too.

Anyway, those are just a few little ways to keep in touch and keep it fun.  Friends don’t let a little distance get in their way.  Be creative and take the time for one another.  It’s really worth it in the end!

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Newtown Massacre…my Solution

I’m sure everyone has heard about this horrible incident.  For those who haven’t…here is the short version.  Adam Lanza, 20, shot and killed his mother and then drove to Sandy Hook Elementary School.  He stalked into the school, without being buzzed in, and killed 20 children and 6 adults.  20 innocent babies were stripped of their futures and 6 adults died protecting the children they loved.

This incident has caused a lot of shock and heartache.  But the one thing that I don’t understand is the anger people are holding towards guns.  Why blame the weapons?  Weapons DO NOT kill people…people kill people.  And people do it all the time…whether it’s with a gun, knife, box cutter, poison, baseball bat, fire, car, etc.  Hell, Bundy used a crowbar people!  Should we outlaw those too?!?

I’ll tell ya what I think we should do.

Veterans need jobs!  Veterans, with honorable discharges and background checks, would be a wonderful idea!  Give our Veterans the honor and responsibility of protecting our children.  I know several Veterans who would love the privilege.  Retired police officers would be a great idea too.  Random drug tests could be given, as with any other job.  The Veterans could receive training from the police force along with approval and certification to carry and shoot the particular weapon that they would carry.

I’m not sure about the laws and such but maybe the Veterans could go to the station to get the issued weapons or carry their own with the proper permits.  Updates can be given daily, at the station, about any concerns and current events.  They would patrol only during school hours.  And the schools should be allowed to budget in the guards.  The safety of our children should be considered priceless!  Guards should be allowed to do random locker and book bag checks.

This can work!  We just have to find a way.  I believe this will cut down on shootings, fights, and other types of violence in general.  Our teachers are not equipped or trained for these situations and they shouldn’t have to be, in my opinion.  Veterans and retired police officers have been trained for these situations and would be honored to keep watch over our children.  Taking away guns from citizens in this country is wrong.  We have and wish to keep the right to protect ourselves and our families.  Please remember, people kill people.  People can use any object to take the life of another.  Guns are not the problem.

Bonnie and Clyde…the envied couple

OK, before you jump to conclusions over the “envied” part, drop the disgusted look and pick your jaw up off the floor.  Let me explain my point of view on this.

Bonnie and Clyde went on their crime spree during the Great Depression.  The country’s attitude, at the time, was pretty much against the government.  This headlining couple wasn’t stealing huge amounts of money and they seemed to be having a blast being on the run.  Instead of looking like mass murderers, they were more like the “Robin Hood” of the nation.

They defied the law and lived dangerously.  They did commit some pretty heinous crimes, such as murder, and I’m not excusing those. But the fantasy of life on the road, running from the law, and living life on the edge captured the hearts of many.  This couple even had fun kidnapping cops!  Kidnapping the cops, riding them around for hours, and releasing them hundreds of miles down the road unharmed…tell me you’re not smiling!  I’m not saying doing that is right…but we are talking fantasy here!  Every young adult dreams of doing crazy stuff.  We have all been there, at one time or another.  Wanting to live life dangerously and doing the unexpected and Bonnie and Clyde did those things.

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I think Clyde felt he didn’t have much of a choice.  Clyde’s family was pretty poor and usually didn’t have enough money to feed Clyde and his brothers and sisters.  Clyde resorted to stealing to help feed the family and pretty soon he graduated to stealing cars.  He basically grew up depending on his theft skills.  Learned behavior is not something easily changed.

Bonnie felt her life was way less than fascinating.  She was bored and tired of her marriage, especially with her husband behind bars.  Working as a waitress and then ending up with no job during the Great Depression caused major stress.  She was looking for fun, adventure, and a little rebellion.  Meeting Clyde gave her the possibility of breaking out and starting a new life.

Falling in love made their adventure even better though.  Imagine that feeling when you find love…the butterflies, the hunger, the excitement, the willingness to do anything to make your other half happy.  This dynamic duo took the world by surprise and never looked back.  I think we all, at some point in our lives, have wanted to defy the norm and do something outrageous.

Defying the norm….doing something outrageous…that’s what most people envy.

Attraction…how is it measured?

Today, with all the magazine ads and popularity contests and pressure….damn, looking good has become a major headache.

Society plays a major role in appearance today.  Magazines push for the perfect skinny shape with all their clothing ads.  Weight loss companies make a fortune dishing out empty promises and their get skinny quick schemes.  Mean ass women make overweight women feel ugly and gross.  The list goes on and on with the negativity aimed towards overweight women.

We’ve all heard it before…your hair can be curly or straight, but never frizzy, flat, or unkept.  Your face must be free and clear of acne and makeup perfectly applied.  Accessories are a must.  Earrings, rings, bracelets, and necklaces must match the outfit.  Oh and the outfits.  Clothes should be fitted and clingy in all the right places.  The more skin you got showing the better.  Jeans must flaunt your figure and your butt has to have that flattering upside down heart look going on.  Shoes…damn shoes!  Heels, boots, flats…gotta have all different kinds and coordinating them with outfits is a necessity.  And let’s not forget body shape!  It never seems to matter how tall or short a woman is, just the size of her clothes.  Size 0-2 seems to be the going thing.

But do all those things really matter that much?  I mean, my hair usually does whatever the hell it wants to do.  My face has tons of freckles and I rarely wear makeup.  Makeup just seems to be unnecessary to me.  My face needs to breathe dammit!  I don’t wear any jewelry except my wedding rings.  Clothes…just jeans and t-shirts for me.  Yea, sounds lame I know.  Have I wanted to wear those cute designer clothes before?  Sure.  But at the cost of not being myself or trying to fit in just doesn’t appeal to me.  I think I only own three pairs of shoes.  Bodyshape…UGH!  Well, let’s just say round is a shape!  I’m not the skinniest chick and I’m not the biggest, but I’m me.  Shouldn’t that be good enough?

Losing weight is a priority for me.  I admit, I do seem to struggle with the motivation part, but shouldn’t health be the main focus?  Instead of outward beauty being such a main concern, shouldn’t being healthy matter more?

And besides health, what about the idea of who a person really is?  What about their personality, their feelings, their compassion for others?  These qualities make a woman beautiful as well.  Outside looks shouldn’t be so damn important.  So many women and young girls go through hard times battling their weight.  Lots of women don’t feel worthy just because they are the wrong shape and size.  It’s high time everyone stops putting so much focus on those things.  Being happy and healthy need to be priorities.

So, in closing, please throw out the mind paralyzing idea of having to look a certain way to fit in or make someone love you.  Be yourself, whoever that may be.  Make health a priority in your life.  Being healthy will keep you around for a long time and will make you feel better than being a part of any “clique” ever could.

Love yourself.  When you do that, you shine!  That makes you attractive!