Yea, I know, this is a touchy subject. One that most men do not want to think about, discuss or acknowledge. Yet, once a month, you still gotta deal with us! You get confused and think we are suddenly certifiable…and yea, we kinda are! We are “legally insane” for one week every month… kinda scary huh? So, I will give you a few meanings of PMS and help you avoid the trauma we tend to inflict upon you!
Pass My Shotgun
Perpetual Munching Spree
Pass My Sweatpants
Pardon My Sobbing
People Make me Sick
Pissy Mood Syndrome
Psychotic Mood Shift
Pack My Stuff
Pimples May Surface
Provide Me with Sweets
Potential Murder Suspect
Now that you know the meanings…I will help you survive the “week of hell”!
For starters, don’t ask us if we have PMS! That just pisses us off even more. And using the phrase “that time of the month” generally makes us want to rip your head off!
If we ask for it…GIVE IT!!! This usually tends to be chocolate, wine, ice cream, etc…hell, just give us all three and hope for the best!
Try not to ask us questions. Our brain is not functioning properly and an overload of questions (can range anywhere from two or more!) just makes us more crazy.
Walk softly and try to remain invisible…unless we start yelling for you! Our hormones are going haywire and the pain and agony we feel cause that “certifiable” attitude.
Avoid eye contact! This may trigger a severe psychotic episode! We are dangerous, guys! Eye contact makes us think you are thinking something you are not supposed to be thinking….
DO NOT tell us we are wrong! This brings either the flow of tears or the swings with a frying pan. Just pretend we are right for a few days… nod and agree and smile!
Help with some of the housework…not all, just some! Sometimes just standing feels unbearable. Load or unload the dishwasher. It ain’t gonna hurt you one bit, trust me.
Flowers…bring some flowers! Hell, a sticky note on the bathroom mirror saying “I love you” would work. Roll out the sweet stuff, guys! It will pay off.
When all else fails and you have tried everything…it may be best to get out of there and run like hell!!!