I don’t fall like I used to!

So, I took a lovely trip down the stairs the other day.  And by “the stairs”, I mean ALL OF THEM!  I seriously don’t fall like I used to.  I’m serious.  I think I hit harder now or something.  Either that or the ground got a hell of a lot tougher!

Anyway, the morning began with my hubby reading a book to our little 5 month old bundle of cuteness while I walked our 11-year-old to the bus stop.  Huge age difference, I know!  So, I get back home and he tells me that she fell asleep in her swing holding the book.  He wants me to go look at her.  I think he was more proud that he got her to take her morning nap!  Haha!

I head up the stairs and cast a glance back at our new puppy.  Yea, we got a new addition to the family.  I’m still not sure what the hell I was thinking when I agreed to this!  Anyway, I make my way up to see sleeping beauty and yep, she’s just adorable.  She’s still holding her little Halloween picture book.  As I turn around, my hubby is headed into the shower.  Now, at this point the puppy decides to start yapping.  Oh my gosh he can make some noise.  I thought about going down to get him, but my little one wasn’t buckled in the swing.  My luck she would wake up in the 30 seconds I was gone and wiggle out onto the floor.  I chose to yell from the top of the stairs so maybe he would see me and come on up.  Nope.  He just looked confused as hell.  After a minute he settles down so I go back into the baby’s room.  Five minutes later he starts up again.  He is even louder this time.

What to do…I make the decision to run and go get him but fail to realize he’s made it almost to the top of the stairs!  I don’t see him until it’s too late.  I fell hard!  I know I hit my right knee but that’s right after I tried catching myself and damaging my boob.   As I fell, I reached for the banister and I guess I was at such an odd angle that my boob took a beating.  Damn, the pain was massive!  I began toppling down the stairs trying so hard to stop.  About midway down I decided “screw it…just ride it out!”  Needless to say I kept tumbling, picking up speed with each step I hit.  I landed in the guest bathroom a few inches from the toilet.  Yep, I was face to face with the throne!  I swear it felt like I was falling forever.

I stood up once I realized I was still alive.  I was already aching.  I immediately checked my boob in the mirror!  It seriously felt like it fell off or something.  Then pain radiated at the knee.  I have an awesome carpet burn in the shape of a “L”…I’m assuming it stands for Loser!  After the knee pain is in check I realize my thumb is throbbing.  I’m not sure if it hit the banister, the stairs or if my body crushed it, but the pain was horrible.  I quickly began checking myself out.  I checked my joints and hips…Let’s face it, we don’t fall like we did as kids!  I could’ve broke a hip on all those stairs!  I was bending, squatting, flexing, etc. trying to make sure everything was working properly.

When I decided it was safe to walk I slowly made my way back up the stairs.  I laid on my bed and waited for some of the pain to swindle away.  Maybe from now on I should do the butt-scoot down the stairs.  I’m too old to fall like that again.

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