Pregnancy surprises they forget to tell you about…

Pregnancy is a beautiful experience.  You will be growing a tiny little person inside your tummy.  You will feel him/her grow, kick, punch, hiccup and roll.  It is so amazing!

You will put up with nausea, low back pain, being tired all the time, constant peeing and lots of hunger!  BUT…there are few things people tend to leave out!  Allow me to enlighten you!

What mood swings???

• MOOD SWINGS – These aren’t just any normal mood swings either!  One minute you are fine and the next… BAM!  You are ready to beat someone’s ass or you are crying a river over socks that don’t match.  I haven’t had these but my husband swears I have!
• STUFFY NOSE –  You could be stuffed up the WHOLE TIME!  This could lead to nose bleeds too.  I haven’t been able to breathe for months!
• BLEEDING GUMS –  No matter how soft and tender you are while brushing and flossing, your gums will bleed like crazy.  No one wants to taste copper after brushing their teeth!  I have been as careful as possible and still deal with it daily.
• NO MEMORY –  Pregnancy brain does exist!  You will forget why you walked into the living room, what you were going to the store for and everything else that should be a “no brainer”!

Huh?!? LOL

• BOOB AND/OR NIPPLE PAIN –  I have heard so many doctors and nurses use the word “sore” when referring to these two body parts.  They lie!  They hurt like hell!  The pain is horrible and makes you wanna live in a bra.  Taking off the bra no longer means freedom!
• EVERYTHING SMELLS BAD –  A lot of my favorite snacks stink.  Most normal scents smell like 90 day old funk!
• CONSTIPATION –  I’ve never really had an issue with constipation until now.  It is a horrible feeling when you gotta “go” and can’t!  Hubby gave me Colace because it is supposed to make it easier “to go”.  What a crock!  “Easier to go” really means an entire day of diarrhea!
• ROUND LIGAMENT PAIN –  Now, they call it round ligament pain…it is actually intense cramps and stretching pains!  Imagine a rubber band being stretched to its limit and then slowly let back down to normal size.  When you sit up, roll over in bed, sneeze or cough you will feel this lovely symptom of getting bigger!
• ACNE –  Acne, acne, acne…in the weirdest places!  I had a little acne growing up, mostly on the forehead area due to bangs or wearing a ball cap during softball season.  But this is ridiculous!  I have little surprises popping up on my chin all the time.  My chin…makes zero sense.  My chest area has been plagued as well.  I have never had that issue before.  No matter what you do, the acne will just creep up.

Ain’t this the truth?!?

• BELLY TOUCHES –  This drives me up the damn wall!  People will want to touch and rub your tummy, even strangers.
• DREAMS –  I dream crazy crap anyway, but during pregnancy they get way weird.  I’m sure a lot of you could share some doozies!  Purple elephants, swimming in jello, flying penguins and other crazy stuff tend to plague you from month 5 till the end!
• PICKING A NAME –  Names put a lot of pressure on you.  You have to think about how his/her name will impact their life.  Will other kids pick on their name?  Is he/she going to go by their first name or middle name?  Is this a name you can see yourself screaming out the back door when it’s time for dinner?  And ultimately, will your child like this name?
• UNCONTROLLABLE PEE –  Your poor bladder gets karate kicked and squished constantly.  You always seem to be running to the bathroom…well, not running…more like waddling with your legs crossed.  Don’t laugh to hard, cough or sneeze without being prepared!  A panty liner is a good idea after month 6 or 7!

• BENDING –  Just thinking about this makes me giggle!  Shaving your legs is a riot!  I’m in my 8th month and bending down in that direction with a razor in my hand is dangerous!  Putting on socks and shoes gets a little rough too!
• BABY KICKS GET ROUGH –  Those little feet and elbows really do a number on ya!  Those little toes really feel like boulders being dropped on my bladder and hooha.  Laying down causes the baby to put on an alien show.  I can lay down around the same time every evening and just watch little hands and feet go crazy.  She moves, kicks and turns around nonstop.  And the bigger they get, the less room they have in there.  It gets a little painful.
• DROPPING THINGS –  In the 3rd trimester you don’t get around so good.  You will have a hard time seeing your toes and taking the stairs becomes an obstacle course.  Dropping stuff will become something you want to walk away from.  I’ve dropped utensils in the kitchen and said “to hell with it!”  Hell, if I am lucky enough to get down there, I probably won’t be able to get back up!
• PELVIC PAIN –  This is the worst one I’ve dealt with.  It feels like I’ve done a split everyday!  Getting out of bed in the morning is so damn painful!  Be prepared to use a body pillow at night.  Fold it in half and put it between your knees and thighs while you sleep.  It really helps with the pelvic pain.

Haha!