Treating others the way you want to be treated…

Don’t you just love that piece of advice your mom used to give you???  It was said to me more times that I can count.  Today it actually made a ton of sense to me.  Now, don’t get me wrong, my meaning and your meaning are probably two totally different concepts.  I am not trying to push my opinion on anyone.

But today I actually sat and thought about it.  To me, that statement does not mean “be nice to everyone all the time no matter what”.  As a kid and obviously, well into being an old fart, I thought that even when someone is mean, inconsiderate, rude, etc…you’re just supposed to take “the high road”.  And anyone that knows me knows that I don’t always do that.  I don’t always just smile and look pretty.  I don’t always keep my opinions to myself…ok, I hardly ever ever ever keep my opinions to myself!  I don’t always keep my mouth shut when I believe someone is being mean for little to no reason at all.  But I will say that here in the recent past I have tried to look past certain things.  I have tried to put a lid on speaking up when I know it won’t do any good.  And I have tried really hard to hush and “take the backseat” with certain things.  But enough is enough!

Today I got pissed off!  I was and still am mad as hell!  It felt like a lot of crap hit me at one time from several different directions.  I am so sick and tired of speaking up sometimes just to be accused of being sensitive, selfish, or bitchy.  I am tired of some people being rude, inconsiderate and downright mean.  “Treating people the way you want to be treated” means two things to me…1. Do not say or do something to someone that you would not want said or done to you.  2. Speak up and be honest when something bothers you.

1. Do you want someone making jokes that secretly hurt your feelings?  Do you want someone constantly bringing up something that upsets you?  Do you want someone constantly putting you on the back-burner and ignoring your feelings?  Do you want someone to only call you when they want something?  Do you want someone being selfish all the time?  the list goes on and on…..If you don’t…DON’T DO IT TO OTHERS!!!

2. Wouldn’t you prefer for a friend to tell you that something you said hurt their feelings?  Wouldn’t you prefer someone telling that they feel ignored? Wouldn’t you like for a friend to let you know you’re being kinda inconsiderate?  Wouldn’t you prefer your friends to stay your friends?     here again, the list can continue forever….If you would…THEN SPEAK UP ABOUT IT!!!

Look, I am nowhere near perfect.  But I would not intentionally joke or pick on someone if I knew it hurt their feelings.  I would not ignore someone’s feelings on purpose.  I don’t call someone just because I need or want something.  But, yes, I do joke around, I do assume I know how someone feels sometimes, and I have made calls to vent to a friend in the past and didn’t stop to ask how they have been or what’s been going on with them lately.  But I would listen and respect them if I did any of those and caused them to be upset.  I would listen to how they feel and try to put myself in their shoes.  And I would do my best to change the problem in order to keep my friend.   BUT, if I am constantly treated like shit even after I’ve spoken up…guess what, I can totally return that one too!  I can return the favor of being rude and inconsiderate.  I can ignore someone’s feelings too.

Bottom line…don’t be a door mat for a friend and speak up when you feel any disrespect and try to listen, really listen, and put yourself in the place of others to see things from their perspective.  Constructive criticism can be a good thing. I honestly think doing those things will make life a little easier.

Thanks for putting up with my rant.  I hope this opinion/advice helps shed some light on that wonderful phrase my mom still says to me quite often!

Safety tips during a deployment

I’m sure you know how it feels to have your husband receive those dreadful orders that he has to deploy.  I’ve known a lot of women, like myself, that get a little more than nervous being alone with the kids all the time.  Nighttime usually adds to that fear.  I’ve got a few tips that may help you feel a little more at ease and eliminate you from being a target to those that seek out the vulnerable.  Some of these tips came from my husband and some came from friends…feel free to add any that I have left out!

1. Do not stick to the exact same routine day in and day out.  It’s very easy for a burglar to figure out when to expect you to leave the house if you do the same thing constantly.

2. If you and your husband have two vehicles, drive his truck frequently.  Leaving his truck in the driveway and it never leaving that spot lets the bad guys know he’s definitely not home.

3. Try to avoid advertising that your husband is deployed.  The shirts that say things about deployment and the ACU purses catch the eyes of others.  I AM NOT saying to stop showing your pride or love for your soldier.  But think about it, the t-shirts let the bad guys know your husband is gone.  The purses followed by the  stickers on the car may lead someone to pay closer attention to you and with the two rules listed above not being followed you are now definitely a target.

4. Shopping…Now, I am not a shopper and I don’t head to the mall every weekend, but I have seen several women who shop all the time and I would think that going in and out of your house alone with tons of shopping bags and tv and appliance boxes out by the road will not add to your safety.

5. Pay attention when you leave your apartment or neighborhood and in parking lots.  Look for out-of-place vehicles and people that don’t look familiar in your neighborhood.  In parking lots, try to go straight to your car, get in and lock doors.  Carrying your keys so that they stick out of your fingers when you make a fist might come in handy too.

6. Traveling at night should be kept to a minimum.  It’s harder to see through the shadows at night and you never know who could be lurking behind the bushes.

7. Be prepared in parking lots and your driveway in case someone grabs you from behind.  Thinking quick in these situations is not easy but if you keep yourself prepared it might just pay off.  Keys sticking out of your fingers or mace are good ideas.  You could try throwing your keys as far away as possible and dropping your weight to the ground.  I’ve never heard of a bad guy that will take the time to pick you up off the ground, throw you over their shoulder and go looking for those keys.

8. Keep your door locked, including the deadbolt, and alarms set.  If you do not want to pay for the activation of the alarm so that it contacts police at least have it turned on so that it does its job being loud as hell.

9. Any conversations with strangers asking questions….include your husband in them.  Such as…you are approached one afternoon by a man advertising his lawn services…tell him “no thank you” and that your husband tends to most of the yard work.  Keep those statements in present tense and do not bring up deployment.  You would be amazed at the amount of women who readily give out that information so easily.

10. Shotgun…Some people use guns and some don’t.  Personally, I own one.  My husband thought is was a great idea for me to have one.  You still have to aim decently with it but it will definitely stop someone from attacking you!  And most of the time, cocking it and someone hearing that “ch ch” noise….that’ll make ’em think twice before entering your home.  Follow good safety and keep any and all weapons away from children.

11. Facebook….Where do I start with this one?  People please stop posting where you are every second of every day!  Most of the people on your friends list don’t even care that you are at the mall or at the fair or at a club.  And when you post that you are going out-of-town for the weekend that’s just like putting a neon sign up in your yard.  Stop making every move you make public!

So, there you have it.  I’m sure there are several more and if I think of any I will add them.  I hope this helps some of you out there!

Zombie Apocalypse Survival Tips

Just a few tips to help you survive a zombie apocalypse…

1. If you see anyone walking retarded and foaming at the mouth…run like hell!

2. Get the hell away from people who panic!  And, yes, this includes 99.9% of women…especially blondes!

3. Make sure you keep a few people in your group that you dislike…Examples would include: idiots, assholes, and your husband’s ex-girlfriends!  They can definitely be used as bait!  Remember, tripping them + running like a bat outta hell= surviving!

4. Aim for the head at all times!  Do not stop until you see brain matter or their head comes off!

5. Raid the nearest Home Depot for anything that can be used as weapons and definitely Ammo shops/Pawn shops.  FYI: just give the “bait” people hammers!  haha

6. Do not point and yell, “OH, OH, OH…THERE’S ONE OVER THERE!”  Most men will understand this if they have ever gone deer hunting with a woman.

7. Duct Tape!!!  Duct tape has many awesome uses!  You can repair clothing, cover up boo-boos, put over the mouths of the “bait” people and ladies….duct tape those boobies!  Trust me, you don’t wanna be running like hell and end up with black eyes and blurred vision!

8. Set boobie traps…for the best examples please refer to the movie “Goonies”  haha

9. Don’t set the zombies on fire…I don’t think that will stop them and that probably stinks like shit!

10. Hope like hell you are married to a Soldier!  Having a “Rambo” man will definitely come in handy.  Yep, I am covered on this one!

Hope these tips help ya’ll survive!

The Tom Cruise sock slide…

Ok, just had to share my most recent tale of embarrassment!  A few weeks back I get into my husband’s truck and scroll down to “shuffle” on the iPod.  Just before I hit the button, I say out loud, “Make this a good one!  Give me a song that will make my day!”  Well….with the volume up and a smile on my face the song “Fat Bottom Girls” by Queen begins!  What the hell???  LOL  Needless to say the smile instantly disappears and I’m just staring at the iPod like it sprouted wings.  Soon I can’t help but laugh and decide its just gonna be one of those days.  Now I told you that story to tell you what happened to me last night.  Ha!

I get into the shower and wash my hair.  Conditioner is in my hair and I’m thinking, “I need some music!”  Can you guess what damn song begins blaring at me???  Yep, good ol’ Fat Bottom Girls!  Seriously?  I mean, I know my butt is huge but I don’t need the constant reminder!  Haha  Instantly I laugh out loud and decide it’s time to sing and dance!  Getting the conditioner out of my hair I decide I’m gonna put on a rock show!  I am singing to the top of my lungs and attempt that “Tom Cruise sock slide” from the movie Risky Business….you know the one!  If you need your memory jogged a lil you can YouTube it!   Yes, I tried this in the shower…..right after washing CONDITIONER out of my hair.  Holy crap ya’ll!  Bottom of the tub is slick with all that conditioner.  I slid all right…straight into the wall and then over the side.  Legs and arms going everywhere, I’m laughing, face is kinda lodged into the shower curtain….damn.  It was like that feeling you get when you miss a step on a set of stairs!  I thought my life had ended!  I’m half in and half out of the shower and laughing so hard I can’t breathe.  It was pitiful!

Anyway, I have recuperated and am alive and well.  Hope ya’ll got a good giggle out of my lovely evening!

Things NOT to say to the spouse of a deployed soldier…

I must say…these kinda crack me up!  I, along with all my Army gals, hear these constantly.  Those who know me usually crack up at my funny sarcastic comments!  I have tried to smile and grit my teeth when I hear them though.  Most of the time I just wanna use the line…”Here’s your sign, idiot!”  I hope you enjoy my little comments I feel I must add under each one…although I’m sure I will succeed in pissing a few people off.  Just try to keep in mind…these statements and questions that we hear just add to the chaos of the deployment.  So, without any further delays…..here we go!

“I know how you must feel.  My husband was away for nearly a week on business.”~~Seriously???  You honestly think that your husband being gone for four nights compares to a 12-15 month deployment?  I really wanna giggle at you or slap you….or both.

“Are you excited he’s coming home?”~~Here’s your sign, idiot!  Naw, we ain’t excited…we were kinda thinking that once he gets home he might wanna just take a personal vacation without us.  Dummy!

“I understand what you are going through.  I watch the Army Wives show.”~~Ok, lookahere lil Ms. Drama Addict…The Army Wives show is a drama series.  It is not a reality show.  Trust me, that show is not how our lives are on a daily basis.  If it was, I would be praying for a Zombie Apocalypse!

“I don’t know how you do it.”~~Is this supposed to be a compliment?  I’m sure that’s the way it is intended, but come on!  I do it because this is my husband’s job and this is what is required.  You get up in the morning and put your big girl panties on and get shit done!  You hold down the fort till he gets back.  Plain and simple.

“I couldn’t deal with it if my husband left for that long.”~~Ok, congratulations!

“So, I bet your husband is ready to come home.”~~Yea, I’m gonna start making those “Here’s your sign” signs to just hand to people!!!!  Naw, he aint ready to come home.  He loves being in a hell hole and having sand storms all the time.  Oh and he really likes being in a tent with about nine other stinky men.  He loves depending on crappy internet that has a serious case of PMS.  And let’s not even get on how much he loves not being able to hug his daughter or kiss his wife.  Dumbass!  Haha

“When is he coming home?”~~Please refer to my other post about everything being written in pencil.   I have no idea and won’t find out until the very last-minute.  And honestly, I take it day-to-day.

“I know how you feel.  I was a single mom.”~~Hahahaha…ok!  I’m sorry, the Army wife does stay alone and take care of the house, bills, kids, vehicles, etc…but a single mom does not have to worry about her husband being in danger.

“Well you only have six months left.  The rest is downhill and should be easy now.”~~Here again, giggle and slap or choke out!  You complain about a weekend business trip and then wanna say six more months should be breezy.  The worry and stress are still there at month 11 sweetheart.   I will worry until he is home and our little family is complete once again.

“But he will be home for Christmas, right?”~~Haha…yep, and our anniversary and my bday and his bday and our kid’s bday…oh and Thanksgiving too!  Dummy.  The deployment doesn’t get put on a “time-out” just because Santa comes to town.

“You knew what you were getting into when you got married.”~~Gee, thanks ass!  That just makes the last eight months of this damn deployment fly by!  Woohoo!  Did YOU know what you were getting into when you made that rere comment?  LOL

“Don’t worry.  I’m sure ya’ll will have PLENTY of time to visit with friends and family and take a vacation.”~~Plenty of what???  This comes up constantly for all of us.  First of all, the Army schedules the time off.  The only thing husbands want is to get off that plane, kiss their wife and kid(s) and go home!  After that, it’s back to work and hoping he gets a couple of weeks of leave soon.  But, please keep in mind,   he just wants to sit down and put his feet up and the kid(s) still have school (depending on what month he gets back).   And friends and family are not always in one location.

“Do you miss him?”~~Here’s your sign, heifer!

“Is there still a war going on?  I thought everyone from Iraq came home.”~~WTF???  I don’t even wanna waste my time with this one.  I forgot the news don’t report in your area.  And I wasn’t aware that the war only involved Iraq.  Wasn’t it Ron White that said, “You can’t fix stupid.”?

“Has he shot anybody?”~~Ummmm…let me thumb through that log of daily kills and headshots for you, moron!  Why would you even ask a question like that?

Well, there you have it!  Please keep in mind, once again, that this list and my responses are not intended to make anyone upset.  Army wives do struggle sometimes (who doesn’t?) but don’t want pity for the life we have.  We are proud and ready to face whatever is thrown our way.  Simple things make all the difference.  Instead of the things listed above…just treat us like you would want to be treated.

Juicing

Health…It is such a huge topic nowadays.  Many people want to change their weight and appearance.  Through talking with several people and reading posts about the struggles we all go through,  I have decided to try a lifestyle change and share it with you.

I recently watched a documentary called Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead by Joe Cross.  Mr. Cross decided to go on a juicing fast for 60 days to reboot and detox his body.  Now, before I go any further…this is not medical advice that I am giving and you should really talk to your doctor before doing this fast.  I am not a doctor or nurse and my intentions are only to inform you of what I have learned and share my experience.

Now, with that said, I watched this documentary and was amazed that the human body could survive for 60 days based only on the consumption of juice from fresh fruits and vegetables.  Mr. Cross totally transformed his body by juicing all kinds of these foods.  He used kale, spinach, cucumbers, apples, oranges, celery, carrots and many others.  He lost a ton of weight and was able to come off the medications that his body was dependent on.  I am not on any medications and I do not have any medical problems that would prohibit me from trying this lifestyle change.  I have juiced over the past couple of weeks but must confess that I have had solid foods within that time as well.  To be honest, I was a little nervous about not consuming “food” for so long.  The idea of not chewing your food kinda hits you the first day or two.  It sounds crazy but you actually miss chewing and eating food.

But I am comfortable enough and determined to change my lifestyle now.  The plan I am about to start consists of 30 days of juicing and moderate exercise.  I will be using foods such as kale, celery, spinach, cucumbers, apples, oranges, carrots, strawberries, cantaloupe, tomatoes, peppers and possibly a few others.  I do not have a set number of times per day to juice.  I will juice in the mornings and juice throughout the day when I get hungry.  In between those “meals” I will be drinking water only!  My exercise, at this time, will consist of walking/jogging.  I do have the P90X program and have intentions of using it within this time frame as well.  I will update once a week or so to let you know of any progress, changes or any problems I have.

Before I end this post I just want to add…..Changing your health habits is a big deal.  It takes time and dedication.  You cannot expect change to happen overnight.  No matter what you choose to do to make your life healthier, it will take time!  And changes do not have to be so radical either.  Instead of juicing, you could just add walking daily or eating more fruits and veggies or taking the stairs over the escalator…small changes make big differences too!  Don’t give up and don’t give in.  No one can make this change but you and you have to WANT to make this change.

 

You know you’re an Army wife when…

Ok, I know you all have probably seen these sayings floating around out there but I couldn’t resist!  Most civilians aren’t aware of these little quirks.  When I sit back and think about it, the differences between military and civilian spouses are crazy!  Hope you all enjoy!

You know you’re an Army wife when….

You write everything in pencil because things change from minute to minute!

You DO NOT, under any circumstances, go to the PX or commissary between the hours of 1130-1300!

You show your ID to the cashier at Walmart

Your kid says “hoo ah” and “roger that” instead of “ok”

Your civilian friends and family look at you crazy because they have no idea what PCS, TDY, DFAS, FRG, ACU, and ETS mean…they need a translator!

You don’t have to stop and think about what time 2130 is

You’ve been referred to as “Household 6”

You get aggravated when civilian friends and family complain because their spouse had to go out of town for a week!

You’ve learned to sleep through the sounds of planes, helicopters and artillery simulators

You know your husband’s SSN better than your phone #

You know what it’s like to sleep with the house phone, cell phone and laptop!

You are proud of and defend this lifestyle no matter how bad it gets because you know there’s no other life for you!

 

actress/singer vs. soldier debate

Ok…I have seen several hateful remarks floating around Facebook concerning the recent death of singer Whitney Houston.  First off, I personally do not know much about her or her work.  I am not a “fan” due to the fact that I cannot name any movies or songs by this woman.  I have seen her on t.v. and know her face, but I am not familiar with her career. 

With that said…I have seen several remarks that people have made saying that she was just a druggie and/or her death means nothing to them.  These individuals then go on to comment that everyone should not care about her death and focus more on our military and the deaths that have occurred due to the war.  Now, I agree that our military needs to be acknowledged more for their duties and sacrifices.  But I will NOT stoop so low as to say whose lives are important and whose aren’t.  That is extremely arrogant and no one has the right to judge someone else’s life.  You are more than welcome to have an opinion, but do not think that you are “all mighty” enough to decide whether their life and death should be acknowledged.  I personally was not affected by this woman’s death but understand that others  may have been.  I don’t have to agree with her lifestyle choices or like how she handled herself.  But, then again, I do not personally know this woman and will not judge her.

Let those who miss her go through their own grief process.  You wouldn’t want someone downing the death of your mom, sister, daughter, friend, etc.  And to those military spouses that feel the need to bash a singer/actress and play up the military card….grow up!  How would you feel if your husband, after a deployment or something, developed a pill or alcohol problem?  Would his life be worth less than someone else’s now due to the fact that he has a dependency problem?  HELL NO!  So, don’t do it to others!  And if you are going to go on to say that military deaths should be acknowledged more…then do that!  I didn’t see you post any deaths of heroes or acknowledge any soldier in particular on your Facebook page.  YOU have not taken the time to post a fallen soldier’s name, rank, age, hometown, etc. in the past.  Don’t say things that you can’t back up!

Believe me, I am a very proud Army spouse!  And I fully support my husband’s dedication to his country.  My husband works very hard, stays focused on his career and is proud to serve his country.  Our family deals with the struggles of military life daily.  Deployments are long and hard to go through.  Plans usually get cancelled because things come up last minute at work.  And if you are in the Army you will understand that “everything is written in pencil!”  Soldiers go through hard times and should definitely be recognized for thier hard work, dedication and sacrafices!

But if you want someone to blame for the attention a singer/actress or soldier gets when he/she passes, BLAME THE MEDIA!  The media handles the news on these issues.  When was the last time you saw the media handle the death of a small town hero with such passion and dedication?  They don’t!

End of rant!

 

 

 

Getting started…

Where to start??? Ugh…

Well, I am an Army wife. My husband has served over ten years and we have an eight year old daughter. Right now, my husband is on his third deployment and it’s nearing the end.

I guess this blog got started due to all the stress of this type of life and that I am a very opinionated person. I don’t like to suppress my opinions and I always seem to loudly express them!  Haha. So, be prepared for the crappy days of ranting, sappy days when I just wanna cry and the good days that i think all Army spouses depend on.

Hope you enjoy!