Things NOT to say to the spouse of a deployed soldier…

I must say…these kinda crack me up!  I, along with all my Army gals, hear these constantly.  Those who know me usually crack up at my funny sarcastic comments!  I have tried to smile and grit my teeth when I hear them though.  Most of the time I just wanna use the line…”Here’s your sign, idiot!”  I hope you enjoy my little comments I feel I must add under each one…although I’m sure I will succeed in pissing a few people off.  Just try to keep in mind…these statements and questions that we hear just add to the chaos of the deployment.  So, without any further delays…..here we go!

“I know how you must feel.  My husband was away for nearly a week on business.”~~Seriously???  You honestly think that your husband being gone for four nights compares to a 12-15 month deployment?  I really wanna giggle at you or slap you….or both.

“Are you excited he’s coming home?”~~Here’s your sign, idiot!  Naw, we ain’t excited…we were kinda thinking that once he gets home he might wanna just take a personal vacation without us.  Dummy!

“I understand what you are going through.  I watch the Army Wives show.”~~Ok, lookahere lil Ms. Drama Addict…The Army Wives show is a drama series.  It is not a reality show.  Trust me, that show is not how our lives are on a daily basis.  If it was, I would be praying for a Zombie Apocalypse!

“I don’t know how you do it.”~~Is this supposed to be a compliment?  I’m sure that’s the way it is intended, but come on!  I do it because this is my husband’s job and this is what is required.  You get up in the morning and put your big girl panties on and get shit done!  You hold down the fort till he gets back.  Plain and simple.

“I couldn’t deal with it if my husband left for that long.”~~Ok, congratulations!

“So, I bet your husband is ready to come home.”~~Yea, I’m gonna start making those “Here’s your sign” signs to just hand to people!!!!  Naw, he aint ready to come home.  He loves being in a hell hole and having sand storms all the time.  Oh and he really likes being in a tent with about nine other stinky men.  He loves depending on crappy internet that has a serious case of PMS.  And let’s not even get on how much he loves not being able to hug his daughter or kiss his wife.  Dumbass!  Haha

“When is he coming home?”~~Please refer to my other post about everything being written in pencil.   I have no idea and won’t find out until the very last-minute.  And honestly, I take it day-to-day.

“I know how you feel.  I was a single mom.”~~Hahahaha…ok!  I’m sorry, the Army wife does stay alone and take care of the house, bills, kids, vehicles, etc…but a single mom does not have to worry about her husband being in danger.

“Well you only have six months left.  The rest is downhill and should be easy now.”~~Here again, giggle and slap or choke out!  You complain about a weekend business trip and then wanna say six more months should be breezy.  The worry and stress are still there at month 11 sweetheart.   I will worry until he is home and our little family is complete once again.

“But he will be home for Christmas, right?”~~Haha…yep, and our anniversary and my bday and his bday and our kid’s bday…oh and Thanksgiving too!  Dummy.  The deployment doesn’t get put on a “time-out” just because Santa comes to town.

“You knew what you were getting into when you got married.”~~Gee, thanks ass!  That just makes the last eight months of this damn deployment fly by!  Woohoo!  Did YOU know what you were getting into when you made that rere comment?  LOL

“Don’t worry.  I’m sure ya’ll will have PLENTY of time to visit with friends and family and take a vacation.”~~Plenty of what???  This comes up constantly for all of us.  First of all, the Army schedules the time off.  The only thing husbands want is to get off that plane, kiss their wife and kid(s) and go home!  After that, it’s back to work and hoping he gets a couple of weeks of leave soon.  But, please keep in mind,   he just wants to sit down and put his feet up and the kid(s) still have school (depending on what month he gets back).   And friends and family are not always in one location.

“Do you miss him?”~~Here’s your sign, heifer!

“Is there still a war going on?  I thought everyone from Iraq came home.”~~WTF???  I don’t even wanna waste my time with this one.  I forgot the news don’t report in your area.  And I wasn’t aware that the war only involved Iraq.  Wasn’t it Ron White that said, “You can’t fix stupid.”?

“Has he shot anybody?”~~Ummmm…let me thumb through that log of daily kills and headshots for you, moron!  Why would you even ask a question like that?

Well, there you have it!  Please keep in mind, once again, that this list and my responses are not intended to make anyone upset.  Army wives do struggle sometimes (who doesn’t?) but don’t want pity for the life we have.  We are proud and ready to face whatever is thrown our way.  Simple things make all the difference.  Instead of the things listed above…just treat us like you would want to be treated.

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6 thoughts on “Things NOT to say to the spouse of a deployed soldier…

  1. Marilyn says:

    lmao! love it. “I would be praying for a Zombie Apocalypse!” lol <<still cracking up!

  2. Aunt Ann says:

    Hey Miss Carmen! What a great job you’re doing with frequent posts! As I read the latest, I think I understand better about the frustrations an Army wife faces with comments well intended people often make. Sometimes, it’s sort of like when someone is sick or has had some other tragedy befall them. You don’t want to ignore the illness or the tragedy, because you care, but then again, you’re not sure of the right thing to say.

    What’s the right thing to say to an Army wife to let her know you care about her situation?

    • armyliving13 says:

      Thank you! Sometimes there really is no right thing to say. I know that sounds odd, but most of the time a hug or invitation for coffee works the best. Many of the other wives I’ve met find comfort in friends and family just telling them that they are proud of the way they handle deployments and stressful situations. I know, in my case, just hearing someone tell me I’m doing a good job holding down the fort or doing awesome with our daughter really helps. But, all in all, its just treating everyone the way you want to be treated.

  3. Tiffany says:

    Love it hun! You hit the nail right on the head!

  4. lmwills1 says:

    Lol! Funny post 🙂

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