Army wife do’s and don’ts!

Time and time again you hear about military couples having problems.  Yes, I know that is a very broad term…problems!  But you see it over and over again.  Some of the problems I’m referring to consists of communication issues or simply not understanding the way things work.  Army wives, as do the other military spouses, go through a ton of stress!  Whether its dealing with deployments, husband’s chain of command, plans being smashed into pieces or any of the other numerous issues associated with being a military spouse…keep your chin up!  Here are a few tips to help get you through some of it!

The stress will definitely be a factor!  DO learn to deal with it and take each day as it comes.  DON’T whine and complain about it all the time though.  Letting as much as you can roll off your shoulders will pay off….I promise!

DO enjoy and make the most of your time together.  DON’T  take any of that time for granted!  Far too many times there will be things that come up or sudden events (earthquake in Haiti) that cause your husband to have to leave quickly.  And don’t use “lack of money” as an excuse not to do things to spend time together.  There are tons of things to do as a couple for little to no cost at all!  Think simple ladies!!!

DO have pride for your husband’s courage, accomplishments, service, etc.  DON’T  wear his rank!  Spouses hold no rank whatsoever.  Your husband’s rank is his and his alone.  He earned that rank with time served, courage, dedication, dependability and many other accomplishments.  Pretending that you wear that rank is not only wrong but tacky, in my opinion of course!  🙂

DO get used to being around and meeting new, different people.  Having an open mind and not judging others based on their looks, accent, age or religion will be very beneficial!  Accept the fact that everyone is different, yet a friend can come in many shapes, sizes, colors and backgrounds.  DON’T get caught up in the drama of any groups or cliques.  You will already have enough on your plate without having to deal with the issues that reflect typical highschool behavior.  Now, am I saying that all military spouses participate or reflect this highschool clique issue?  NOPE…JUST SAYING THAT IT IS BEST TO STAY AWAY FROM IT WHEN YOU SEE IT!

DO support and stand by your husband.  No matter what…be there for him and keep in mind he goes through a great deal of shit!  DON’T try to do his job for him.  You are not active duty and therefore, the job is his and not yours.  There is a difference in being supportive and being controlling.

DO look forward to time together.  DON’T make plans too far in advance!  Trust me, write it all in pencil!  Dates and times will change very often!

DO respect his chain of command.  Understand that orders are orders…you don’t have to agree with them or like them, but he has to follow orders regardless.  DON’T go to his chain of command for every little thing that goes on with your life.  An emergency situation is one thing… wanting time off for a beach trip or family reunion has zero impact on orders.

DO take advantage of the nice privileges and benefits offered to active duty and dependents.  Be grateful for them too!  DON’T act like you are special or entitled to anything just because your husband serves in the military.  Here again, his career and rank are his!  Assuming and expecting things in return for his service is wrong!

DO form your own opinions about the FRGs.  Being involved with the FRG of your husband’s unit could turn out to be a great experience for you.  You will hear several different points of view on this subject.  My best advice, make up your own mind!  DON’T expect a FRG to cater to your every need.  I know that sounds harsh, but please understand that FRGs work best when you all work together.  The ol’ “Give and Get” idea comes into play here.  All spouses working together will make a strong group.

DO give your husband some free time to unwind.  Before you freak out and do the eye roll thing, let me explain!  LOL  I know some wives work and some don’t.  Obviously, if you both work full schedules, you both need some “down-time” to unwind and relax.  If that is the case, talk it out with your hubby and work out a schedule of taking turns sleeping late or whatever.  If you stay home, give him a little free time so his stress level doesn’t exceed the limit.  Playing the Call of Duty and Halo games seem to be the most common form of down-time when they get home from work.  DON’T whine or complain when he does this.  Remember, he has been up since sometime around 0500 maybe and may not get home until 1730 or after.  He’s had a long day…give him a break.  LOL  I can just see the eye rolls ladies!

DO keep in mind that whatever post you are stationed at has several resources available for your husband and your family.  There are support centers that can offer tons of assistance with all kinds of issues ranging from financial planning to PTSD.  There are also several websites that will point you in the right direction as well.  The FRG should have all this information readily available for you too.  DON’T  assume you are alone or not accept help.  Before and after deployment packets are also available to help you cope and plan for the changes associated with them.

I hope this helps you adjust and/or maintain your stress level as well as keep your relationship happy and healthy!  Let me know if you have any questions!

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Zombie Apocalypse Survival Tips #2

Ok, I’ve asked my crazy family to help add to these life-saving tips!

11. Women (especially blondes) and children…find a big strong guy so that you can ride on his shoulders to be a look-out!  We wouldn’t want ya’ll going astray and gettin’ lost!

12. a lil addition to the tip above…Remain on his shoulders especially during an attack.  Zombies are not picky as to which body part they begin chewing first.  So, when the zombie goes to gnawing on the big guy’s leg, gage your distance and jump like hell!  As you are scrambling away, keep a sharp eye out for another huge guy!  Then simply repeat rules 11 and 12!

13. My aunt heard that zombies cannot swim…ok, well maybe she (and the rest of us!) are just really hoping they can’t!  Anyway, try to find a boat or raft.  If you can’t find one then you need to start watching that Bear Grylls survivor show to learn how to make one!  That man can make one out of a match stick and pine cones or something like that!  And make sure there are no zombies on the bank when you take a bathroom break!  Otherwise you’re gonna end up attempting to do #2 in the water!  Thanks for this one, Aunt M!  Priceless information right there!

14. Do not go near any little kids.  I know that sounds mean as hell.  But believe me, them lil boogers may very well turn out to be ankle biters!

15. Bologna, aka Boloney to my family, will come in handy during your attempt at survival!  My Daddy helped me out with this awesome tip and I think it will definitely be worth your while to try!  Pick 3 “bait” people…you know, the idiots or husband’s ex-girlfriends….tell these people that you will be using code names to confuse the zombies.  Name the first two Salami and the third one Boloney.  Right before things get bad and shit hits the fan holler out, “Hey Salami, Salami and Boloney!  Come over here!”  My dad says this will do the trick!  Zombies can’t resist the boloney!  If they catch on to those code names you could always use the names Oscar, Mayer, and Bar S!

16. “Chummin'”~~Chummin’ is an excellent way to lead those stinkin’ zombies in the wrong direction!  It’s the same concept as in Jaws, throwing bits and pieces of fish and guts and blood overboard to attract those sharks.  Now, I ain’t saying that you gotta use pieces of your “bait” people….but if they get bit by a zombie or are slowin’ ya down….oops!  LOL  You could use any animals like deer or squirrels for this.  Hell, you might be able to use fried boloney too!  Just chum in one direction and run the opposite way!

17. If you find yourself surrounded by the zombies, turn on the Thriller song and hope for the best!  I’m sure those flesh-eating mongrels will begin dancing in sync and be entertained for a while!  Trust me folks…the same thing works for my family when you turn on Running Bear!

18. Try and find a handicapped guy that is in a wheelchair!  Sorry, but you can’t be politically correct when zombies are trying to eat you and your buddies!  The wheelchair guy serves two purposes…if it gets bad, he can’t run!  aka “bait”!  And if you are running for your life and hit a downhill slope, you now have a fast ride!

19.  Times are rough when zombies are everywhere.  Stress runs high and everyone tends to get trigger happy…but remember, just because they are ugly and smell bad, don’t mean they are zombies….friendly fire is bad folks!  (thanks hubby!)

20.  Last, but not least, DO NOT BELIEVE THE SHIT YOU SEE ON T.V.!  Going anywhere within 100 miles of a large city is suicide….do this and you deserve to be eaten!  Instead of being dumb, just come on over to my group and we will be glad to use you as a “bait” person!  We can never have too many members named Boloney!

Hope these tips help and I’ll provide more as they come!