Everyone goes through life the same way…just difference situations. Kids always test their parents, teenagers think their parents are ALWAYS wrong and adults hit that mid-life crazy spot that causes each of us to wonder where their sanity went! We are all learning life’s little rules and lessons constantly. Sometimes we think we know the rule/lesson and the outcome but still have to try it anyway! haha Here are a few that I have learned…
Everyone seems normal…until you get to know them!
Think before you argue…is it gonna matter in one week, one month or one year? If it won’t, then shut the hell up and move on with it. No point in arguing about something that is NOT important, even when it seems to be at the time.
Never attempt to give yourself a haircut after 3 alcoholic beverages! The outcome will be horrendous!
Being happy is the best revenge. There are more people than you know just waiting for you to be miserable or fail at something. Be happy, ignore them and laugh like hell that your happiness causes them to get nauseous!
There are only two tools you will ever need…WD-40 and duct tape. Men, listen up! This is an important lesson! If it don’t move but should…use WD40. If it moves and it souldn’t…use that awesome silver tape! See? problem solved!
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night! This will lead to an unconscious, shitty mess! LOL
It’s not the jeans that make your butt look fat…it is, in fact, your butt!
Do not lick a steak knife. This will result in lots of pain and that “I feel like an idiot” feeling…plus you won’t be able to finish your steak!
Never pass on an opportunity to pee! You will always have to pee at the wrong time…and if you know someone who pees every five minutes (my sister does this!!!), buy them a pack of Depends for road trips! You can shave two hours off your driving time making them strap those diaper things on!
Cats cannot fly! They cannot function on a trampoline either!
Never miss the chance to tip over a porta-potty while your buddy is inside of it! This is priceless! And those people who turn their noses up at this are just mad that they didn’t think of it first! LOL
Stupid people are a rare breed indeed! They are a lot like slinkies…they aren’t good for much except pushing down the stairs!
Do the “Tom Cruise sock slide” at least once. I would NOT advice trying this in the shower though. Major problems occur while doing that one!
Going down icy stairs with bowling shoes on is basically the same as skiing! Well, your arms are not at your side and your back is not straight! It’s more like arms are everywhere, back looks like it’s about to break and the look on your face is not one of content.