Army wife do’s and don’ts!

Time and time again you hear about military couples having problems.  Yes, I know that is a very broad term…problems!  But you see it over and over again.  Some of the problems I’m referring to consists of communication issues or simply not understanding the way things work.  Army wives, as do the other military spouses, go through a ton of stress!  Whether its dealing with deployments, husband’s chain of command, plans being smashed into pieces or any of the other numerous issues associated with being a military spouse…keep your chin up!  Here are a few tips to help get you through some of it!

The stress will definitely be a factor!  DO learn to deal with it and take each day as it comes.  DON’T whine and complain about it all the time though.  Letting as much as you can roll off your shoulders will pay off….I promise!

DO enjoy and make the most of your time together.  DON’T  take any of that time for granted!  Far too many times there will be things that come up or sudden events (earthquake in Haiti) that cause your husband to have to leave quickly.  And don’t use “lack of money” as an excuse not to do things to spend time together.  There are tons of things to do as a couple for little to no cost at all!  Think simple ladies!!!

DO have pride for your husband’s courage, accomplishments, service, etc.  DON’T  wear his rank!  Spouses hold no rank whatsoever.  Your husband’s rank is his and his alone.  He earned that rank with time served, courage, dedication, dependability and many other accomplishments.  Pretending that you wear that rank is not only wrong but tacky, in my opinion of course!  🙂

DO get used to being around and meeting new, different people.  Having an open mind and not judging others based on their looks, accent, age or religion will be very beneficial!  Accept the fact that everyone is different, yet a friend can come in many shapes, sizes, colors and backgrounds.  DON’T get caught up in the drama of any groups or cliques.  You will already have enough on your plate without having to deal with the issues that reflect typical highschool behavior.  Now, am I saying that all military spouses participate or reflect this highschool clique issue?  NOPE…JUST SAYING THAT IT IS BEST TO STAY AWAY FROM IT WHEN YOU SEE IT!

DO support and stand by your husband.  No matter what…be there for him and keep in mind he goes through a great deal of shit!  DON’T try to do his job for him.  You are not active duty and therefore, the job is his and not yours.  There is a difference in being supportive and being controlling.

DO look forward to time together.  DON’T make plans too far in advance!  Trust me, write it all in pencil!  Dates and times will change very often!

DO respect his chain of command.  Understand that orders are orders…you don’t have to agree with them or like them, but he has to follow orders regardless.  DON’T go to his chain of command for every little thing that goes on with your life.  An emergency situation is one thing… wanting time off for a beach trip or family reunion has zero impact on orders.

DO take advantage of the nice privileges and benefits offered to active duty and dependents.  Be grateful for them too!  DON’T act like you are special or entitled to anything just because your husband serves in the military.  Here again, his career and rank are his!  Assuming and expecting things in return for his service is wrong!

DO form your own opinions about the FRGs.  Being involved with the FRG of your husband’s unit could turn out to be a great experience for you.  You will hear several different points of view on this subject.  My best advice, make up your own mind!  DON’T expect a FRG to cater to your every need.  I know that sounds harsh, but please understand that FRGs work best when you all work together.  The ol’ “Give and Get” idea comes into play here.  All spouses working together will make a strong group.

DO give your husband some free time to unwind.  Before you freak out and do the eye roll thing, let me explain!  LOL  I know some wives work and some don’t.  Obviously, if you both work full schedules, you both need some “down-time” to unwind and relax.  If that is the case, talk it out with your hubby and work out a schedule of taking turns sleeping late or whatever.  If you stay home, give him a little free time so his stress level doesn’t exceed the limit.  Playing the Call of Duty and Halo games seem to be the most common form of down-time when they get home from work.  DON’T whine or complain when he does this.  Remember, he has been up since sometime around 0500 maybe and may not get home until 1730 or after.  He’s had a long day…give him a break.  LOL  I can just see the eye rolls ladies!

DO keep in mind that whatever post you are stationed at has several resources available for your husband and your family.  There are support centers that can offer tons of assistance with all kinds of issues ranging from financial planning to PTSD.  There are also several websites that will point you in the right direction as well.  The FRG should have all this information readily available for you too.  DON’T  assume you are alone or not accept help.  Before and after deployment packets are also available to help you cope and plan for the changes associated with them.

I hope this helps you adjust and/or maintain your stress level as well as keep your relationship happy and healthy!  Let me know if you have any questions!

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My adventures with the Xbox 360

I saw this picture and laughed so hard!  It was one of those laughs that is so hard no noise comes out and I end up looking like an idiot clapping at nothing!

I don’t know how most women play these Xbox games…but me???  I am absolutely horrible!  I remember my husband attempting to show me how to play the Halo game or whatever.  Working those two turny knobby things was a disaster!  One knob working the walking and one knob working the turning….come on now!  I would run into walls and just keep walking into it!  Yea, he found this kinda comical!  The picture above is so freakin’ true too!  I don’t know how to just hold that controller thing still in my lap!  I get so excited and then find myself screaming at the t.v. while running for my life! I can’t help ducking behind the controller when I’m hiding from the bad guys either.  I have tried and tried to remain calm….doesn’t work!  The Halo game just kills me.  I am the type that tries to find a lil’ “hidey hole” so I don’t die so quick.  My husband likes to play the Halo game on the board that puts the two players against each other…which is retarded.  I never last more than twenty seconds or so before he just blows me up!  When playing the regular game, I panic when there are so many bad guys that I just hit all the buttons at the same time and hope for the best.  Usually this ends in me throwing a grenade that takes out me, him and all the bad guys.   Does it ever get any better?

Now, the guitar games were a hoot too!  I play backwards, for starters.  I am right-handed so I guess that means I am supposed to strum the lil’ bar thing with my right hand…naw, not me!  My right hand won’t do that!  When we first started playing these games, I did the little kid level that only required me to hit the green button I think!  LOL  And trust me, that was difficult.  I did get better though!  I can play on the hard level now but my pinky don’t cooperate very much.  So, I did improve greatly with the guitar games, but not the fighting games.

Those fighting games…Mortal Kombat and such…don’t make any sense to me.  I just hit every single button all at the same time!  How do they expect people to remember all those combinations of moves?  Every once in a while I hit so many buttons, my person does something really cool!  And those “FINISH HIM” moves….LOL  whatever!  I never pull those off!  My person just ends up punching the woozy guy and he falls over.  I think my husband has all those moves memorized…somehow.  I swear he studies those moves while I’m sleepin’ or something.  It seems impossible to learn all the moves for one person, much less for all of them.  That’s just insane!

We got that Kinect thingy for the Xbox too.  I won’t play if the picture thingy is on though.  I don’t need a recap of how dorky I looked and how bad I sucked!  I love not having to use the knobby controller thing too.  I get to stand up and “act out” the games.  We got that Nightmare game that involves the zombies a while back.  I love that game!  I have played that game so much these past few months.  I haven’t made much progress, of course, but I kick major butt sometimes.  I don’t like that big, bad guy though.  He doesn’t talk.  He just walks around and you have to stand still and be quiet when he gets close.  NEVER WORKS FOR ME!  He seems to always know I’m standing there and then he just knocks my lil’ head off!  I have tried standing still and quiet.  I have tried squatting down.  Hell, I tried holding my breath the other day!  LOL  I have now resorted to looking up YouTube videos to see how others get past him…haha

Anyway, just thought I’d share my adventures with the Xbox with you!  I hope I’m not the only one that isn’t coordinated enough to play these games.