Jason Voorhees

Well, I was informed last night, by my horror master husband, that Jason Voorhees should have come before Michael Myers. Hmmm…

Jason Voorhees is a complicated character to me…well, maybe he’s so simple it’s kinda complicated. Not sure if that makes much sense! Anyway, the Jason character gets his start as a deformed and mentally challenged child. His mother was a cook at Camp Crystal Lake and, due to not having a sitter, she had to take him to work with her for the summer. The other children bullied him and called him names. One day, out on the dock, the kids were picking on him and he fell in the lake and drowned. The camp counselors were not watching the kids because they were off somewhere having sex. Jason’s mother became outraged and took revenge on the counselors. I’m not sure how many she killed but she was one mad mama!

Years later Jason emerges again…after we all thought he was dead! He is living in the woods at Camp Crystal Lake in a small shack. The camp is reopened and given the nickname Camp Blood, I believe. He starts out wearing some kind of potato sack thingy over his head and begins killing all the counselors…especially the ones who are engaging in premarital sex. He finds that to be a big no-no! He stalks through the woods with a big ol’ machete hacking up teenagers every summer.

I think the thing that kinda aggravates me though is the fact that he is pretty much immortal. All the other “bad guys” seems human even though they all seem to possess unique skills. You can drown this guy, chop his head off, grind his head in a grinder…he just keeps coming back!

All in all, this guy has created fear for anyone deciding to go camping, walking through the woods at night and any of those little bumps in the night that occur while you’re trying to convince yourself it’s just the house settling!

Advertisements

Michael Myers

 

Just a little countdown to Halloween…I’ll be picking some movies, characters and paranormal subjects throughout the month that interest me!  Hope you all enjoy!

And now for the first on the list…

Michael Myers

This guy scares the hell outta me!  I’m usually the one during or after a movie analyzing how the victims should have handled the killer’s stalking and such.  But with this guy, naw…  I can’t think of anything to do if he enters my house.  I would scream like an idiot and hope he just got annoyed with me or decided I wasn’t worth the effort!  LOL  He is so good at what he does.  He doesn’t need a fancy weapon…just a good ol’ kitchen knife will do.  He doesn’t need to scare you with dreams, knives for fingers, a chainsaw or Pandora’s Box!  This guy just walks into a room, gives you “that look”, and proceeds to stalk the shit outta you until he gets you with the knife.  Running never seems to help, shooting him doesn’t do any good and pleading for your life doesn’t work either.  He doesn’t speak or grunt or anything.  Myers is definitely one of the most scariest characters I’ve ever seen.

Now that I’ve expressed my ultimate fear of this guy I should tell you that my husband is a huge horror fan.  He has the small figurines, the pictures with autographs, the masks and lots and lots of other horror memorabilia.  But the one item he has that kinda takes the cake is the life-size Michael Myers in our friggin’ living room!  Yep, Myers lives in our house.  He is voice and motion activated.  Ugh!  Gotta love the fact that his knife moves, his head follows you around the room and even his eyes move as you walk by!  My husband loves to position him around the house so I get scared shitless from time to time when I walk in the door.  Welcome to my world!  Haha!

Stuff I don’t understand…

Ok, so that title should read, “Shit that don’t make no sense to me”!  My husband laughs at my commentary while watching movies.  Yes, I am one of those that can’t seem to shut up during a movie!  There are a few movies that set off questions in my head…so, I figured I’d share!  haha

Titanic– At the end of the movie, Jack and the chick are in the freezing water.  He is doing the “man thing” and trying his best to get her out of the water so she doesn’t freeze to death.  Now, I cannot remember what he puts her on…a door, a dresser, a headboard….whatever.  What I do remember is that it was big enough to hold both of them!  He is a pretty small guy and she’s not huge…they both could’ve gotten on that thing!  They could have made that work and there was tons of other shit floating in that water he could have gotten on too ya’ll!

Horror movies in general – Why do the chicks always go runnin’ up the stairs when they could’ve just ran out the front door?  Come on now!  Upstairs…there are only so many places to hide and only one way down!  Sure, you can jump out of a window like an idiot but personally, I’d rather keep my legs in tact.  And shouting, “Who’s there?” is retarded.  Do ya think the bad guy is gonna just answer back like the Marco Polo game?  It never fails when the chick is running around outside either like a delirious moron.  She always trips and falls!  You have been running on them legs you got for several years…why do they not work now?  Normal people look where they are going!  Looking back only results in being hacked up in pieces, dummy!

Paranormal Activity – This movie, along with several others, was great!  I actually like all paranormal movies.  But in this particular movie, they had their fun shooting video of all the crazy shit.  Recording the movements at night, the footprints in the powder, the sounds, etc were all awesome.  But think about it…would you go through all this terror, be dumped by the scared psychic, not get help from the demonologist guy, and then just call it quits with getting help?  Research on the internet would only take ya so far.  Staying in the house only works for so long, obviously.  Hell, why not make a few more calls?  There are tons of people who would be more than glad to show up just to see for themselves.  Let them skeptics get a good dose!  haha  Or how bout run like hell!!!  Go learn some ghost banishing voodoo stuff!  But stayin’ in that house just filming your own death is retarded!

Michael Myers – This guy scares the shit outta me!  He is ruthless!  He never seems to get in a hurry, yet always catches the idiot running around screaming.  This is mainly due to those that trip and fall a lot!  He totes a knife and uses it to the extreme!  But it’s a knife people!  I know shooting him never seems to work…but how bout in the ol’ noggin’!!!  Use one of those rocket shooters or a tank.  Or maybe you could run him over with one of those steam roller thingys.  Or….what could he really do with no arms?…..hmmmmm

Jason Voorhees – I think that’s how you spell it…ha  Anyway, he’s very similar to Myers.  You gotta start using other methods to take this guy out!  Maybe you could just not go to that damn camp no more!  Set that whole place on fire!  Refrain from premarital sex…LOL  Hey, we all know he goes after those!

Strangers – I really, really liked this movie!  My husband would’ve taken care of that situation with a quickness!  But since I’m not Rambo, I don’t quite know how he would’ve done it.  I can only tell you what I would have done…haha  Yea, this is probably gonna go badly, but that’s why I would’ve just let my Rambo handle it!  For starters, if my husband would’ve left to head into town….ALL DOORS AND WINDOWS WOULD HAVE BEEN LOCKED!  At the first sign of trouble I would have found whatever weapon was available and hid in a locked room with no doors or windows…if available.  Even in a room with one window, I’m pretty confident I would’ve handled the situation until he got back.  I’m pretty sure I would have found the gun and figured a way to get to the highest point…roof would be best.  Hell, from there the problem could be handled quick!  Anyway, my point is…these idiots were not too smart.  They just seemed to not think at all!

Basic – This movie….this movie caused massive brain leakage for me.  I think I’ve watched this movie 5-6 times and I still don’t know who the hell Dunbar is!  Everyone was someone else and I just stayed lost the entire time.  I still think Dunbar was ol’ donut boy but I’m told I’m way wrong.  I don’t even know who the bad guy is in this movie.  I thought it was Jackson and then thought it was Travolta and then the bad man in the office….now, not a damn clue.  Just writing this makes me want to watch it again to see if I have a revelation…haha