The ‘Burbs!

Ya’ll remember that movie with Tom Hanks?  He lived in that crazy neighborhood with all those quirky people.  Well, guess where I’m living?!?

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When we moved in, things seemed so quiet, calm, and “normal”.  The neighbors would all check the mail, put out the trash/recycling, and rake leaves at the same time.  Everyone seemed to have normal routines.  Weekends were laid back and quiet.  The kids would all get together and ride bikes.  Yea, that lasted all of about 3 months!

Directly across the street is a quiet couple who seem ordinary at first.  But after a while, I’ve noticed they don’t seem to speak very much.  She isn’t home most of the time and he just yells at the dogs a lot.  And no, I’m not one of those creepy neighbors who spy on everyone…I just keep a watchful eye out!  On several occasions I have noticed him creeping around his house at night.  And he doesn’t just creep folks!  He does this whole “Rambo sneak attack” routine!  He sneaks around the corners of his front porch and jumps around the side.  Then he tip toes across the front yard to his car and sneaks around it.  He has this squat/creepy walk thing he does around the entire car before he sneaks back up to the front porch to peek around the sides again.  This isn’t a one time incident either…he does this A LOT!  There is NEVER anyone out there.  There are no noises or animals to explain why he does this.  Makes no sense to me.  Just the other night he came out on the porch and began yelling at this three dogs.  He then picked up one of the dogs, holding him like a sack of potatoes, and proceeded towards his car.  He opened the back door of the car and kind of slung the dog in the back seat.  He got in the driver’s seat and started up the car.  I see him ranting at the dog and then, after about 30-45 seconds, he shuts off the car and gets the dog out.  He puts the dog back on the front porch and just walks in the house.  Hmmmm…

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Next on the list is the family about 3 houses up from us at the end of the road.  Now, when I met them, I thought they were pretty good folks.  They came over and met me and my husband.  We chatted a little about the neighborhood and where each of us were from.  I told them that their daughter was more than welcome to come over anytime to play.  Things seemed great.  And then, about two months later, they (the parents and the daughter) began quizzing my daughter about religion.  I’m not gonna turn this post into a religious debate, but I don’t agree with anyone pushing religion on anyone else.  I also don’t think you have to attend church every week to be considered worthy.  This little girl began to be very ugly to my daughter because of the attendance issue and her parents have made little comments and sent over church business cards.  This little girl is quick to make statements like…”I am a Christian, so I think she ( my daughter) should be able to do her homework outside.  I am a Christian, therefore I have responsibilities.” (when asked if she wanted to come inside my house to watch The Fox and the Hound.)  Yea, I know you’re thinking…WTF!  Made zero sense to me either.  She talks back to adults and never takes no for an answer.  It is driving me crazy!!!

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There’s a couple more crazy folks around here but I’ll save those for later.  I’ll keep ya updated on future crazy incidents here in “The ‘Burbs“!  Hopefully no one will be digging in their backyard late at night while it’s raining!!!  Haha  Do you have weird ones in your neighborhood?  Share your stories…I’d love to hear about it!

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6 thoughts on “The ‘Burbs!

  1. Tiffany says:

    WTH lol… Your neighbor sounds like he has some serious issues or is practicing for a James Bond movie haha. I would defintely keep an eye out for this weird o’ because before you know it he may cross the street. Where I use to live we had alot of incidents with people breaking in or trying to enter our bedroom windows. I cant count how many times my dad firer his gun or chased the people who was brave enough to enter a cop yard.Once there was the two young boys who drove 12 miles on a fourwheeler every night to steal our mailbox(yep a damn mailbox). Finally after several mornings of waking up with our mailbox missing we later that night cemented it the ground. These two boys tired for about an hour to steal it just to go around the corner and throw in a ditch. We waited a few minutes then sent my dad and brother out to get these punk. Long story short it lead to a chase where the boys wrecked and one got away. The other boy ran but was caught due to him peeing his pants lol. To say the least I shouldve wrote a book our neighborhood back then because I have alot of stories to still share. Hope this was aliitle relief to you that it does happened because this world has lots of idiots…..

  2. first:Im glad Im not the only person who knows this movie! I love tom hanks and LOVED that movie.
    Second: I would definately get video of ‘Rambo’ and youtube it…Id pay good money to see that.
    Third: Eff the self riteous, high horse sitting, ignorant fools. I feel the same way about religion and I think its totally wrong for someone to impose their religious beliefs on someone.

    • armyliving13 says:

      Haha! Thanks for reading!
      I will definitely try to video the neighborhood Rambo! He sure is a sight to see. And those fanatics up the street are gonna get an ear-full pretty soon! I’ll be sure to update everyone on our ‘Burbs!

  3. Jenn says:

    This blog was so funny!! LOL! I read it to my husband and he laughed!! Well, we don’t have any ninja neighbors, but we do have an old man who lives next door who keeps insisting on checking his mail shirtless showing off his extremely hairy chest. It grosses me out! :p

    And I remember watching The Burbs when I was a kid!! Loved that movie! I need to check it out for my kids now!

    • armyliving13 says:

      LOL That movie is awesome! We watched it the other night.
      Sasquatch checking the mail, huh?!? Lol With our ninja man moving, I’m crossing my fingers that we get a hilarious weirdo! Haha
      Thanks for reading!

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