Outside the Army Wife Club…

The dreaded Army Wife Club…

We know what that is and what it means, but how many of us have been kicked out and avoided like we are aliens?  For those who aren’t familiar with this “club”…it’s basically the “accepted” status a lot of wives depend on.  For example, your husband just began working in a new unit and you don’t know anyone.  So, you may go to one of the unit’s functions or attend a FRG meeting.  You may begin taking your child to same park that some of the other wives go to.  Plan cookouts and get-togethers to become acquainted with the new bunch.  Whatever.  Once you’re accepted into the group, the game kinda changes.  That’s an entirely different post though!  Haha

Anyway, now you know the club is basically like a clique in highschool.  Not all are bad, trust me.  I know I make it out like that sometimes, but there are a lot of really good women out there.  They are smart, funny, dependable, honest, sympathetic, etc.  The list could go on and on.  Then there are the ones that treat friendships like damn clubs and once you’re out….you’re out!

Deployments tend to bust up these little clubs…which sucks because that’s when you need each other the most.  But I’ve seen a lot of posts on Facebook and blogs the past week discussing this issue.  Generally, the stories have been the same.  The top two have been…

1.  During the deployment, I have been ignored constantly by the other wives.  They were my friends and now they don’t acknowledge that I’ve walked into the room.  Once the deployment began most of them were going out together on the weekends to bars and stuff.  I chose not to go.  I have a child/children and preferred to be at home.  The moment I didn’t agree with what they were doing, I was basically kicked out of the “club”.

2.  My husband came home from deployment due to an injury.  (I’ve seen this one quite a few times, just within this past week.)  Once he got home, the other wives have completely ignored me.  They refuse to talk to me, hang out, or even answer my phone calls now.  I don’t understand what I did so wrong.  My husband was injured…so why hate me?

Look, these Army wives are not worth a damn!  They will judge you and talk about you till no end.  You will find wives that tend to party and shop like crazy once a deployment starts.  Those women, if you decide, are not worth your time.  Personally, those women are the ones responsible for the crappy reputation we get.  Don’t let it get to you and be glad you don’t associate with them.  Just because you don’t head to bars and party doesn’t mean you are not worthy.  It just means that they can’t handle someone pointing out what they do wrong and choosing to be a better person.  (And before anyone goes nuts…by partying I mean partying hard!  That could be every single weekend, all weekend long and/or drinking it up during the week at bars and such.)   As for the husband being injured and sent home early issue…those women are just jealous.  They still have months to go before their husband comes home and just wanna find a way to distance themselves from you.  They look for an excuse to hate you…and most tend to make shit up.  You’ll find that a lot of them even go as far to say that your husband faked his injury!  Who would want to be a part of that damn club anyway???

Yesterday was a prime example…I was skimming through a Facebook page and came across an active post.  The post made it clear that this was from an anonymous woman who had emailed the page admin.  It simply stated that the woman had fertility issues and that her doctor had offered the suggestion of an Army wife being a surrogate.  Now, remaining open-minded, there are several reasons why the doctor could have suggested this.  The woman was simply asking if anyone would be interested.  Anyway, there was this one woman who went on a hate spree…aiming hateful remarks toward Ms. Anonymous.  Hater woman was claiming that she was just trying to misuse Tricare blah blah blah.  Several other women pointed out that Tricare, or any type of health insurance, was never even mentioned.  This woman was only doing what her doctor had suggested.  Not once did Ms. Anonymous talk about using Tricare for the surrogate.  Hater woman got a lot of comments from people wanting to know why she was creating drama and being so judgemental.  See???  Prime example of how some women just create drama out of nothing just to create problems and cause issues.  Some of these women will simply look for any reason/excuse to hate you.  They live for drama and will go as far to make shit up just to keep right on talking.

If you find yourself in these situations, sit back and think for a second.  Do you really wanna stress and worry about what these women say and do?  Nope!  Find friends outside the unit if you need to.  Find friends that aren’t tied to the military too.  There is nothing wrong with going outside the “norm” and just finding good people.  And keep in mind…there are some really awesome Army wives out there.  I know it seems like an endless search sometimes, but trust me, they are there.

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