Annoying people…what to say to them

So, I have always been told how sarcastic I am…  I tend to speak my mind and sometimes forget to edit before it comes out!  This tends to come in handy when annoying people refuse to take a polite hint and leave me alone.  Hahaha

Here are a few that might just work for ya!

~Can you hold this kleenex for me?  I have such a nasty cold.  (make sure it’s all crumpled up!)

~My butt really itches!  (say really loud and actually scratch your bum!)

~Last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator!

~I haven’t changed my underwear in two weeks!  I’m feeling lucky!

~The doctors say my 8th personality is the least dangerous.  You should be good sitting next to me.  (make sure to lean real close to him/her and whisper)

~Can you believe they only gave me 3 years for killing my own sister?

~Oh damn, I just shit myself…again!

~You ever heard of Charles Manson?  Yea, he’s my uncle.

~Ever wonder what chloroform smells like?

~I don’t mean to be so jumpy.  It’s just that I had to get out of that place…being in a padded room all day and night can really take a toll on ya.

Try these out and see how they work for ya!


9 thoughts on “Annoying people…what to say to them

  1. ‘Does this look swollen to you?’ also works.
    “I didn’t mean to kill him’ is a great conversation starter.
    “I was told I was going to 1978, not crappy 2012′ is fun.Or you can just shout ‘WHAT?’ the minute anyone establishes eye contact with you.
    I also like to whistle Christmas songs in the middle of summer… really loud…

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