Murphy’s Laws of Combat…

I know most of you have heard of these but I had no idea the list was SO LONG!  I found these all over the internet and just chose several of them.

  • Friendly fire – isn’t
  • If it’s stupid and it works, it isn’t stupid
  • If at first you don’t succeed, call in an air strike
  • Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself
  • Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder
  • If your attack is going well, it’s an ambush
  • The most dangerous thing in a combat zone is an officer with a map
  • The enemy diversion you’re ignoring is their main attack
  • The enemy attacks on two occasions…when they’re ready and when you’re not
  • Five second fuses always burn three seconds
  • The important things are always simple…the simple always hard
  • The easy way is always mined
  • Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you
  • If you are short everything but the enemy, you are in a combat zone
  • When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too
  • Incoming fire always has the right of way
  • No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection
  • If the enemy is within range, so are you
  • The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire
  • Things that must be shipped together as a set, aren’t
  • Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support
  • Make it too rough for the enemy to get in and you will not be able to get out
  • Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs
  • Military intelligence is a contradiction
  • The one item you need is always in short supply
  • Interchangable parts aren’t
  • When in doubt, empty your magazine
  • The worse the weather the more you are required to be out in it
  • To steal information from a person is called plageurism.  To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence
  • 2 beers times 37 men = 49 cases
  • Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last and don’t ever volunteer for anything
  • If your ambush is properly set the enemy won’t walk into it
  • The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out
  • There is always a way and it usually doesn’t work
  • Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the CO is watching
  • As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains
  • Odd objects attract fire…you are odd
  • Mine fields are not neutral
  • The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used to abandon positions
  • When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not your friend
  • When the enemy is closing, the artillery will always be too long
  • Smart bombs have bad days too
  • Uncrating and assemble instructions are always inside the crate
  • If you have a personality conflict with your superior…he has the personality and you have the conflict
  • If you enter the CO’s presence with an idea, you will leave his presence with the CO’s idea

One thought on “Murphy’s Laws of Combat…

  1. Mom says:

    Words can’t even begin to flow fast enough for this retort. As it is 0400here, my humor is up, and there’s no way to suppress the laughter…(I’ll be duck and running again..) I’ll help you out soon enough with more of these brain crashing ideas, when my eyes clear up.

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