Coping with Deployment…

Coping with deployment can be so hard…It’s during this time that you have to “put your big girl panties on” and “man up”!  I have come up with some ways to help you get through it…they are in no particular order, just me throwing them out there!  Feel free to ask any questions and I will do my best to help!

  • Realize it’s gonna be hard!  Go ahead and accept that a 12-15 month deployment is gonna feel like 24-36!
  • Remember OPSEC!  So many times there have been wives on the internet posting information that is not allowed!  Keep info to yourself and talk with the wives in your husband’s unit…not to the world on the internet!
  • R&R and block leave…plan for YOUR FAMILY!  Use what little time you have to make sure you, your husband and your kid(s) have those little moments and trips that will mean so much to you later on!  I know other friends and family are important too, but alone time with your little family will really make a difference!
  • Make sure to send care packages and pictures!  Care packages do not always have to be just the toiletry items.  Send his favorite snacks, magazines, cards, letters, etc.  Pictures are good too.  He will really enjoy seeing new pictures of the kids playing and see how much they are growing.
  • Make sure you have the numbers for your FRG, Rear D and Red Cross.  These numbers are important!  The Rear D and FRG will be able to provide you with information that is vital during the deployment and the number for Red Cross is for any emergency that would require your husband’s return.
  • As hard as it seems…try to sleep and keep yourself stress-free.  Your husband shouldn’t be worrying about your well-being.  So, try to remain steady and strong.
  • Remember that maintenance on the vehicles and yard work is now your responsiblity.  Sounds crazy to put this, but I have known several ladies that completely forgot to have the oil changed in their vehicles for the entire deployment!
  • Save money!!!  You have extra income coming in during the deployment….SO SAVE IT!!!  You can lower bills as well during this time.  If you are renting, the rent is usually lowered during the deployment and you can put his truck’s insurance on hold.  If you are not a major t.v. watcher, cancel cable and get Netflix.  You can’t beat 7.99 or whatever a month and it saves at least $100 mthly by cutting out cable.  Look into couponing too.  Couponing can save you tons of money!
  • Be supportive and don’t talk about his “work” while on the phone or computer.  Most of the time they just wanna talk about everyday stuff back home and take a break from work.
  • Try not to overwhelm him with issues back home.  All the gossip and drama…save that for your girlfriends.
  • Face the fact that you have to take on the role of Mommy and Daddy.  As stressful as it can be, it still has to be done!
  • Friends…..GET SOME!  Find groups on Facebook for the post you are at, attend FRG meetings to meet other spouses, meet others at the parks and playgrounds, etc.  Friends will help you through this difficult time and it relieves stress when you got other ladies to lean on and depend on.
  • Keep yourself busy–work will keep you busy…kids and playtime (parks, playgrounds, art and crafts, etc) will work too.  Do home projects or discover a new hobby!
  • Expect the house to FALL APART!!!  It never fails…once he is out the door and deployed, everything seems to break!  The air conditioning, washer, dryer, sink, etc….it’s gonna happen!
  • Don’t expect your families to understand what you’re going through.  So many times I have heard the ladies upset due to the families not “getting it” and trust me, they never will!  I’ve gone through it and you will too!  Try not to get upset when the time and distance doesn’t make sense to them.  They don’t have to go through it so they can’t honestly put themselves in your shoes.
  • I know things happen and stress makes you wanna vent!  But try to keep conversations with him on the uplifting side…haha  Yea, it’s gonna be rough….but you have to try!
  • DO NOT watch the news if you can help it.  The news never reports the good stuff and the bad stuff is gonna make you panic and worry beyond belief!
  • Holidays…plan ahead so you don’t get bombarded and keep friends close.  The ladies that I am good friends with in my husband’s unit have all gotten together and done Thanksgiving!  It was great!  A holiday with people, laughter and good company!
  • Lots of gossip and drama may go around….stay out of it!  It’s not worth the hassle ladies!
  • Be prepared for gaps in communication…if you don’t hear from him for a lil bit, don’t panic!  Call the other spouses and see if they have heard anything.  Don’t expect the worse!  I’ve been there…it makes you crazy!
  • The good ol saying…..”HURRY UP AND WAIT”….Learn it!!!  You will be doing this throughout the entire time your husband is in the military!
  • Don’t get frustrated towards the end….everything is written in pencil and dates and times will change constantly at the end.  Just give yourself the last possible date and do your countdown that way, if you are doing a countdown.  Your husband will let you know dates and times when he knows them and keep in touch with your FRG for this info too.

I hope some of this helps!  Feel free to add more in a comment or ask any questions you may have!

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4 thoughts on “Coping with Deployment…

  1. Tiffany says:

    I enjoyed ready that blog even though i cant relate to being married to someone in the military I know it can be ruff. Reading that I have a better understanding of what you go through. Your a strong woman to be able to handle everything while he is deployed. Tiffany

  2. Mom says:

    I may not be there physically, but am always there in spirit.. Witches and magick folk have to stick together too. We have no other. Lmao. I got halls back. U got mine. All that counts. Don’t be afraid to vent. It’s NEVER stopped you before. Lol. Don’t stop now. Well all be back together soon. Love you all

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