Things men say…

Things men say….we all know how the guys are!  Most of those lil phrases they use carry hidden meanings.  I’ve made a small list of those phrases and the true translations of them!  Hope you enjoy!

1. “We are NOT lost.  I know exactly where we are.”

translation:  I have absolutely no idea where we are and I am not stopping to ask for directions.  Directions are for wimps and I’m gonna blame your map reading skills in about ten minutes!

2. “Five more minutes.”

translation:  It is Saturday morning and I have all intentions of sleeping till 2pm.  Five minutes mean anywhere from 2-5 more hours…

3. “I got this.”

translation:  I have no idea what I’m doing but I’ve seen this shit on YouTube and it looks like it can be done.  I am a man and it is my duty to attempt all crazy ideas!

4. “See, what had happened was…”

translation:  I did something really stupid and you are probably gonna holler at me a whole lot!  I am really trying to paint a pretty picture of it though.

5. “Babe, I’m hungry.”

translation:  Make me a sandwich, woman.

6. “Babe, since you’re up…”

translation:  I really don’t need anything at the moment, but I’m pretty sure I’ll need something within the next hour and I won’t wanna move off the couch.

7. “I’m going fishing.”

translation: I am going to drink myself into a stupor while holding a fishing pole.  The fish will just swim on by unless we hook a dork fish.  Afterwards, I will have an awesome story when I get home though about a giant fish that almost pulled me outta the boat.

8. “It’s a guy thing.”

translation:  Whatever it is…it makes no sense to me and I have no idea how to even begin to explain it.  It’s just the way I am and if this turns into an argument I’m gonna blame my buddies.

9. “Can I help with dinner?”

translation: This one can have two meanings…..1. Why ain’t dinner on the table yet?  2. I’m just trying to appear helpful so I can refer back to this situation when you say I don’t do anything around the house.

10. “Yes, dear.”

translation:  I ain’t got a clue what you just said but I know it’s easier to just agree and move on to the next thing.

11. “I can’t find it.”

translation:  The object I want is not within my reach so now I feel lost and confused.  Plus, I don’t wanna move from this spot.

12. “I heard you, babe.”

translation:  Ummmmm, no clue what you just said but I’m trying to avoid being yelled at for the next three hours.

13. “You look great.”

translation:  Please don’t try on another outfit, I am starving!

14. “Honey, we share the housework.”

translation:  I make the messes and you clean them up.  Ain’t that the way it works?

15. “That’s not what I meant.”

translation:  That is exactly what I meant but now I see you’re really pissed off and I’m trying to backtrack.

16. “Can we talk about this later?”

translation:  I never ever ever wanna talk about this again.

17. “I’ll only have one drink.”

translation:  The first drink is my choice…all the others will be blamed on my buddies!  Peer pressure!

18. “I’ll be home in five minutes.”

translation:  I should be home sometime between 20 minutes-2 hours.  Saying five minutes satisfies you and gets you off the phone!

19. “I’m going to Best Buy to get that new movie.”

translation:  I am going to Best Buy!!!  I intend on leaving with at least 10 movies and 5 games.

20. “Hey ya’ll, watch this!”

translation:  Hey ya’ll watch me attempt a death defying stunt that will probably cause major bleeding, broken bones, and cool ass scars!

 

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5 thoughts on “Things men say…

  1. Mom says:

    Well girl, this is just so perfect. Life lessened early on. Dammit you are giving all family experiences away you should be charging people to read this shit. God, how I just love this family. LMAO

  2. Tiffany says:

    So true and every girl needs to print this out as a hand book to refer back to lol.

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